Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Christmas In July & My Least Favorite Saying

No way! So I was just listening to Sufjan Stevens' Christmas album, (yes, I'm listening to Christmas music in July... I just had a hankering to hear Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming), and I heard the craziest thing ever!!! My least favorite saying ever, in the whole wide world, "Did I make you cry?" is actually a Christmas song!!!!!

No way! Sacrilege! Catastrophe!!! Curses!!

First, I want to know who else in the whole entire world would have the audacity to ask such a wretched question, as "Did I make you cry?" That question was put to me once, by someone I love, when in fact he had made me cry, and the tone in which it was asked was not one of remorse or concern, as much as gleeful sarcasm. URGH!!! Yes, as a matter of fact, you did make me cry. Does that make you happy? (I actually asked him "does that make you happy" right back, to which I got NO answer). Turd, thy name is man!

Anyways, I'm sure you can imagine my surprise, as one minute I'm singing along to O Come, O Come Emmanuel, and the next minute Sufjan is asking "Did I make you cry on Christmas Day?" To be exact, the song goes:

I stay awake at night
After we have a fight
I'm writing poems about you
And they aren't very nice...

...Did I make you cry On Christmas day?
Did I make you cry
Like every other day?
Did I make you cry
On Christmas day?
Did I make you cry?

Why, oh why, in the history of man and woman, would you ask such a question? Men, listen to me, listen now, never, I mean NEVER, ask a woman that question. Or maybe you like 4 inch stiletto heels embedded in your shins, in which case, ask away oh Sufjan, and other insufferable males. Check out the picture that was with Sufjan's Christmas album... he doesn't look too happy does he? But check out his wife... she looks pretty happy. Pain, the reason is pain. She has her fingernails dug deep into his shoulders in that picture, and I think I know the reason why!

Seriously, a woman's tears are nothing to be taken lightly. To incorrectly and unabashedly quote the Bible, here, God collects our tears, in a little jar. And I'm sure that the ones that have been shed because of unrequited love are especially precious to Him. And I wouldn't mess with God. I'm pretty sure He doesn't like that question, so if you're smart, just don't go there. Ok?

The answer, by the way, is "No, I will never shed another tear for you, ever again. And especially not on Christmas Day!" Blast you for even asking!

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