Thursday, July 19, 2007

Adventures In Wonderland aka You Can Do It, We Can Help

So tonight, I made the trip. To Home Depot. I spent, like two hours in there, just wandering the aisles like a lost sojourner, searching for the way home, ur, that is to the check out line.

I was good, I only bought a magazine (Oprah at Home) and a few plants (two orchids and two bamboo). But what I gained cannot be measured in monetary fashion. Who could measure knowledge? Who could confine wisdom? Muahahahah!! Muahahaha!!!

I just have to say, I am so excited to move into the new place. But even more exciting than moving in is getting it ready to be moved into. I am going to paint the kitchen cupboards, and see if Jon will help me refinish the hardwood floors (since he's such a pro at it). And I'm painting the bathroom, and the bedroom, and the living room. Pretty much the only walls that will remain untouched by my color driven hands are the kitchen ones, but we already know that I adore their shade of Kelly Green. Yeehaw!!

Also exciting tonight, I went to Kramurczuks and got "sassage". Andouille and Polish, and tomorrow a Jambalaya will go in the crock pot to feed my newly gluten intolerant self.

Ok, I have a confession - I don't believe in Karma, but if I did, it'd be a bitch right about now. See, I recently found out I'm gluten intolerant. Yep, that's right, a baker who can't eat wheat. Look at me laugh, see. I'm laughing.

So what does this have to do with Karma. Well, an acquaintance of mine used to be allergic to like, everything, and I used to make fun of him mercilessly. Seriously, the first time I met this friend of a friend was at a Thanksgiving dinner where I had done all the cooking. All twelve courses of it. There were brussell sprouts with bacon and chestnuts, two kinds of stuffing, an infused & brined bird worthy of the pages of Martha Stewart, two kinds of pies, mashed potatoes that would make you cry, from scratch gravy, the list goes on. And this poor guy couldn't eat any of it. At first I felt sorry for him, but then he got on my nerves a little bit and inside, I admit, I was making fun of him.

Fast forward 5 years - I am lactose intolerant. I can't eat cheese, ice cream, milk, sour cream, cream cheese, cheesecake, cheese curds, grilled cheese. I am gluten intolerant. I can't eat pizza, pasta, bread, pancakes, soy sauce, waffles, muffins, croissants, cakes, you name it, if I can bake it, I can't eat it.

I kind of deserve it though. Maybe. For making fun of him. But I'm sorry, I really am. I know now what a pain in the butt this is, and I'm sorry. I just want my gluten back! I do!!

Well, I guess all that money I save on frozen pizzas and Bertollis 10 minute pasta dishes I can put towards home repairs & remodeling. Really, who needs bread when the food I will nourish my body onwith will be the labor of my hands as I transform my new apartment into a sanctuary of warmth and style. Muahahaha!!! Muahahahaha!!!!

1 comment:

me again... said...

i can so imagine you making fun of that poor guy lol...
and then now you too-
HAHA!! thats really funny, and yet so,so so sorry for you, that really lactose intolerant also, i get pains from dairy-bloat lol etc....but i really dont care, i press on, cause i cannot live without icecream, and frappachinos,whipcream, all the deserts,cheese..(and i love Bertollis also!!!!!!!!we eat those once a week)
so what would happen if you just eat that stuff anyway?