Thursday, September 27, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I haven't blogged in a while, and I apologize to you few readers who are still faithfully following me. I guess you could say I'm lazy, but in all honesty, I'm busy, and I haven't had much to say really, so there's that. Mostly just that I haven't had anything to say. Silence is becoming something I'm increasingly comfortable with.
But life is good. I'm planning a wedding (my own), and it is a full time job I'm finding out. I'm working more than full time, at a job that I love, with a small little office of characters. My current boss (he's retiring next year) is the nicest person I've ever worked for, and I just enjoy our interactions every day. This is a huge relief coming off the heels of hell at Onesta, and a boss-lady who would literally make me cry with her demeaning comments, off-the-clock demands, and split personalities. They are each other's antithesis in every possible way. I also work with two very young women, who make me feel older than I am, and than I've ever felt before. They are both in their early twenties, and though I'm used to interacting with youth group girls that age, to see people so young in the work force is eye opening, and feels rather out of place. The generational differences between us are also both amusing and slightly disconcerting. When did I turn into this stuffy, proper, older woman? I used to be cool, I swear!!
In any case, life is grand. Life at home is grand as well, and I am more in love with my sweet fiance today than I was five months ago when he proposed. Every day just a little bit more. I am settled into domesticity like a fat old cat, content, quiet, napping the warm days away. Last night I was sick with a cold, and he let me lay on the sofa and read as he made dinner and cleaned the kitchen. Watching him in there with his handsome beard, cheerfully working away, the smells of spicy taco meat drifting my way, as I laid curled up with a blanket and some tea, literally filled my heart to overflowing. This is what joy is - sweet, domestic joy.
As the days tick away, we are moving closer to our wedding date. The fear of making sure everything is as perfect on that day as it is in my head keeps the timeline of a date fast approaching very surreal. I wish I had a better grip on reality when it comes to gauging what seven months away is. But by the time all is said and done we'll have been engaged for just over a year. And though there are those have voiced their wish that we'd just get married already so we can stop "living in sin", I wouldn't wish a rushed engagement on anyone! Planning takes so much time in the research of each factor involved. Every day I'm working a little more at it, researching, making calls, comparing, putting everything into a speadsheet, into inspiration boards, into a budget. Saving, saving, more saving. Always saving.
I can't wait till we are married though, if for these two reasons only: 1. We can finally get a dog. I want a dog so bad! Something that will be ours, together, and a shared joy, and that sweet unconditional, sloppy love of a dog. Something to dote on, besides C, which I'm sure he'll appreciate. 2. The other reason I really just want to get married already is so we can have a honeymoon. As always, I have wanderlust. Somethings might never change. And though I get to travel for work this year and next, it's never the same. I want to zipline through the jungles of Costa Rica. I want to meander the vineyards of Napa. I want to lounge in a mountain facing hot tub in Montana. I want to go somewhere and just swoon at the scenery and eat somewhere I've never eaten before, and walk on a street that looks like it's out of an old Capra film. I have romantic travelitis, and only seven months before a good excuse for it. I get to go on a honeymoon. I'm gonna be a married lady.
Sadie, Sadie. Sigh.
In any case, this is not that exciting of a post. It's nothing special. But yet, it's kind of everything special for me right now. It's everything that is sweet and wonderful in my ordinary daily life, and I feel like this is the me I've always wanted to be. Content, quiet, and full of undeserved joy. Thanks to the One who gave it to me. And that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.
Posted by Trinette Johnston at 2:50 PM
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
A dear friend of mine got married this past weekend, and though her wedding wasn't extravagant, it was beautiful, joyous, heartwarming and God-honoring. I rememeber thinking, during the worship part of her ceremony, "I'm home. I'm home." In that moment, in that church, with those people, and pouring my heart out to God, the God that loves me as His bride, and the God that brought my friend the bride her beloved husband, I knew that my heart was home, where it belonged. And all this at a wedding!
I'll be planning my own wedding soon, and I hope, beyond hope, that at least one life is touched this way on the day my fiance and I get to share our love with the friends and family we cherish. I know we may disagree on how much worship is too much worship at a wedding, or how preachy should the preacher get. But at the end of the day, if one life can walk away filled with joy, at seeing love incarnate between two people, who have first known love incarnate through their Savior, then we'll have done our jobs. Well, I'll have done my job, because his is basically just Get Us To The Honeymoon!!
We struggle a little bit, he and I, in how to express our faith during this occasion. I come from the FBC tradition of outright evangelism, and strong public expression. C comes from a more reserved, private tradition, wherein your faith is something you share upon invitation, and with a good helping of respect for the diversity of other's beliefs. I worry about this polarization of our beliefs when it comes to the kind of service we will have. I desire a service in which two or three Protestant hymns are sung, and the unity sand is poured, and a blessing is given under a chuppah. Eclectic, yes, but faith inspired. I think C wouldn't mind the five minute "Do you? Yeah I do." version. I know that all I really need is this man, a preacher and a dress, but I sincerely hope we'll find a way to meet in the middle on all the other little details. No matter what we decide, however, when I think about marrying this man who balances me out so well the thought fills my heart with joy. Joy at the thought of watching him watch me walk down the aisle, giving him heart and life publicly and sealing it all with a kiss.
And joy is the one thing I want this day to be about. Yes, it's a celebration, and yes, it's about love, but joy is the manifestation of that love in our hearts, that makes them flutter, and leap and pop, for the emotional outpouring we feel of celebrating all that darned love. When I picture my wedding, I picture looking out from the dance floor, twirling and being spun around (by a quite reluctant dancing groom), and seeing every face in the house grinning. Not just smiling, but grinning. Smiling is what you do when you know the camera is near. Grinning is the look your face makes when your heart just can't hold it all in anymore, a second cousin to laughing if you will.
When I think about things that I have to figure out, like the venue, the decorations, colors (oh, so many colors to think about), the dinner, the dessert, the dancing, the wine, the favors, the kids, the parents, the EVERYTHING, the only thing I keep coming back to is this: what will bring our guests the most joy? What is going to inspire their hearts to recognize the love that this man and I have for each other, because God first loved us, and share in that love so directly that it makes their faces grin? What is going to bring all involved joy? Oh yes, I want to make C proud. And show off my personal style, and DIY abilities. And I want to make sure everyone has fun, we don't spend too much money and all six parents and multiple grandparents are satisfied. But mostly, I think of the faces of my dear friends, and I want to look around and know that they have felt the same way I felt the other day at my dear friends wedding. Joy - it's what a wedding should be about.
So, as I embark on trying to figure out how to take one quarter of the budget of the average American wedding and turn it into something special, I need to remind myself that joy is something we can all have for free. It's the feeling in your heart when you know you are home. It's the feeling in your heart when you see two people so madly in love that they can only grin at each other stupidly, and you know that you love them so much too that you can have nothing but joy for them. In the end, all I really need is this man, a preacher and a dress. But I really hope our wedding can be so much more than that both for us, and the people around us. I hope it can be an occasion of joy, to be remembered for years. Something that brings other's closer to God, more covered in the shadow of His love, and more filled with the joy that they too are loved by Him, and by us.
In the end, that joy is all I really need. And that's my story, and I'm stickin to it.
Posted by Trinette Johnston at 8:21 AM
Friday, April 20, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I'm moving this week, from my little one bedroom apartment, into a new place with the love of my life, a full 40 miles, two bedrooms, three baths, a mudroom and a lifetime away.
Posted by Trinette Johnston at 9:46 AM