Friday, June 01, 2007

The 5 W's & 1 H

I don't really have anything too interesting to say today. I just have become accustomed to blogging daily, and feel like I'm not being a responsible blogger if I don't. So, this is the 5 W's & 1 H of my life today, this very minute:

Who (as in "Who I'm hanging out with tonight"): My roommate Nicole and I were just sitting on my bed, talking about guys and weekend plans and work. The way her boyfriend Jared is freaking out on her and the way I am still, well, stupid about the same guy.
I like my roommate Nicole, and am really glad she likes me enough that we can talk and be friends. Irony is, the one roommate I knew before moving in here, someone I went to church with, doesn't say a peep to me. But the one I was warned about, the "difficult" one, well her and I get along great. She's not as bad as she was made out to be, and I'll take her sincere bitchiness over fake niceties any day.
We had fun, going to Annies and getting malts & fries, laughing at the U of M football guys and their inflated egos. That was till the dairy hit both our lactose-intolerant stomachs and we had to bolt for home. Heheh, maybe that's the reason for our bonding, we're both milk-duds.

What (as in "What am I listening to"): The sound of the rain outside my window, the way it wets the awning and makes the leaves on the trees look positively like jade. It's a soft sound, and was barely discernible, till it began to hum like grasshoppers buzzing in a field. I had to turn down the music, Eric Clapton asking me "Come on baby, don't you want to go? Back from the land of California, to my sweet home Chicago". Yeah, Eric, I kind of do. But only if it's raining there too.

Where (as in "Where do I want to be right now?"): Anywhere but here. I thought the wanderlust bug had left me, but I guess the little tick was just dormant. I want to run. Again. Couldn't I be a pastry chef anywhere? In the south, Atlanta, Nashville, Charleston? How about Montana or Wyoming?
I have a confession, I am mildly jealous of a friend, S., and his ability to work at the most gorgeous camp on earth. I left there, last weekend, wondering "Don't they need a baker??" I'm reading a book, too, about running away and joining the circus. Goodness grief, but there's a theme going on here. Deep down, I know I'm just wanderlusting. Eartha Kitt, in "Beale Street Blues", sings "I'd rather be here than anyplace I know". I strongly disagree!! That is, unless it's Nashville & the real Beale Street. Ok, moving on....

When (as in "When's my next big fun thing going down?"): Next Friday, a week from today, is my birthday. No biggie. There's a party planned that night, but it's not for me. I doubt they even know it's my birthday. Though I got an invite, it's a group of people I really don't hang out with anymore, so why would I go? I'm stubborn, and I have a smidge of pride. If I want anything, it's books, or wishes that won't come true, for things I should be smart enough to not want still.

Why (as in "why was I grumpy today?"): Because this week was a large scone order, I am sore as all heck!! I really am getting old, birthday or not! Last night my legs and hips and shoulders hurt so bad I could hardly sleep.
And speaking of sore, I think I have had just about all I want to take with the whole LDI situation. URGH, URGH, URGH, URGH, URGH!!!!! Give me a break, I am tired of so many things about this, and I just want to move on! What's left for me to do now is make a decision, stay or move on. I'm still not sure, and I am finding that my motives for both, well, frankly, suck. I just want to get back to normal, and I can't seem to do so either way. When will there be healing for this?
How (as in "how much longer will it be for MawMaw & PawPaw?"): My mom emailed me today, and said that the doctors said that Kenny, aka PawPaw, doesn't seem like he'll make it through the rest of the week. I am so heartbroken at the thought of losing him and JoJo, aka MawMaw. They mean so very much to me, and have been the amazing, loving, supportive grandparents that I have always wanted. Yes, they have had fulfilled, wonderful lives, with the love of their children, and grandchildren (adopted, like me, and biological) around them. It doesn't make it any easier to think of the pain JoJo faces as she stares the death of her mate in the face.
I can only thank God that they both have placed Him on the throne of their lives, and I am confident that one day they will see each other again. Selfishly, I take comfort knowing I will see them both again. I just want, one more time, to feel his big, strong bear hugs, and feel the soft, delicate skin of her cheek beneath my kiss. They were the first ones to teach me that sometimes it takes people outside your own family to be family to you. I will miss them both so very much, and love them more than all the words I could muster up would ever convey.

So, that is me, right now. Friday night, June 1st.

1 comment:

China Doll said...

I wish I could soothe your grouchiness now, but you'll have to wait until I return in a few weeks!

Perhaps knowing that I have a birthday present for you will make your blues go away!

I'm headed off to Beijing tonight. I'll talk to you when I'm stateside again in two weeks!

All My Love,