Now, I've always been a big fan of communication. I'm a talker. Yeah, I know, I can hear the snide little giggles right now. Seriously though, with me, what you see is what you get, and I will tell you exactly what is on my mind. I'm huge on communication. It relieves people from unrealistic and unreachable expectations and can stave off disapointment, confusion and misunderstanding. Language, specifically is a gift that we humans possess uniquely, and can use to both uplift and hurt others.
So not being able to blog, or be online all last week was a lesson, one of many recently, in just how importantly I take communication. I felt out of touch, and unable to reach out to others. Odd, because what did I do before I was blogging & on Facebook/Gmail all the time? Talk on the phone? Visit in person? Write a thoughtful letter? Novel concepts all!!
The first lesson in communication, though, started about a month ago, at work, when I realized that I am only one of three English speaking employees in the pastry kitchen. Everyone else that I work with pretty much speaks only Spanish.
Now don't get me wrong, I actually kind of love it. I am learning a new language on the job. Or should I say I am adding to my already sporatic, random vocabulary of Spanish words and kind of figuring out how to construct sentences? In all earnestness, I am trying to learn and to communicate with the other girls as best I can in Spanish. I even find myself talking Spanish to the English speaking ones, just out of habit.
But recently, when one of the other English speaking women walked out on the job, I was left for the rest of the week with no one to talk to, and only Spanish speakers to listen to. The inability to communicate, as well as the complete lack of opportunity to talk to anyone, drove me insane! I found I was talking to myself, or sometimes speaking English to the other girls, only to pepper my one-sided conversations with the phrase "Well, it's not like you know what I'm saying anyways".
The whole thing really got me thinking about the mission field actually. Specifically the reality that I could never be on the field alone, that is without another English speaking friend, to communicate with.
It also reminded me of the realization I had , awhile back, that I really have no desire to be a single missionary. I know a few such brave souls, and truly I am not one of them. I know I would, ideally, be happiest serving in a foreign setting with a husband. There would inevitably be so much I'd want to talk about, pertinent and intimate things. Even having an English speaking friend to talk to might leave me longing for someone to share more personal, intimate and spiritual matters with. Communicating myself, in words I know are understood, to someone who not only understands English, but understands Trinetteish, is so important to me.
For now, in the pastry kitchen, I am longing, craving another English speaking person to talk to. At least I am back online, and for now, will strive to continue to communicate well.