Tuesday, April 03, 2007

This Post Is Not Really About Much Of Anything

I haven't posted in a while, and I thought I should. But there's not a whole lot to say. I'm still trying to get my head on straight after all that's been going on in my life. The little things have been pushed to the back burner, where rightly the little things belong.

Some of the other things that have been going on though are - I think I'm being dumped. And it's slow and gradual. I was supposed to do the dumping in this situation (quite literally), and now, I think he is dumping me. I'm grateful, it was hard for me to dump him, I felt like I was going to hurt his feelings and I didn't want to be a mean girl. But I can see now that he is lying to me (come on, your grandpa's dog died, but you thought it was your grandpa??? who makes that crap up?), and he is not calling me, a lot. Makes it easy to do what I have to do, that's for sure. And in that way, I can see that God is faithful and graceful in my life. He is giving me the way out that I want, prayed for and really need. Yeah God!

On that note, I am just at an impass spiritually. I don't know what to do. I am still questioning my faith, my salvation, etc. I know that Christ has saved my life, I rest secure in His hands. As for anything else, justification, on this side of heaven, I am completely at His mercy. I have no ability, nay no desire even, to do it on my own. I'm tired of trying, and if He is going to do something amazing with my life, it will be just as I am, an empty shell, and He does all the work, while I stand by flabbergasted and in awe. I can't, I don't want to, do this on my own!

Ok, also in the news, the Hope Spring Retreat is coming up shortly, and I am getting more and more excited. I wasn't going to go this year, but I have received a lot of encouragement, from both Trike & Carole and from my small group, and so I have changed my mind and am going. I know that there are people there that love me and want to see me go have some well deserved fun.

As far as fun goes, Steve Rentz and I are in charge of organizing the fun activities time. I have NO IDEA what we're going to do. Since we're working with like, no budget, it's not like we can get sumu wrestling outfits as we did in past years, or anything like that. I have an idea (thank you Herdle family) and if Steve has at least one other, we might be ok!

One of the factors that helped convince me to go to the retreat this year was how much fun I had at the Twins Home Opener last night. That's where all these pictures are from. There were around 60 people there, and my small group sat together, and we had a lot of fun! I love those guys! We ate hot dogs, with lots of kraut, and had beer and yelled and screamed, and sang. It was a lot of fun, in a primitive, basic kind of fun, way, and I am grateful to have went with such a great group of friends!

Now, for family stuff - I am looking forward to Easter with great joy this year. I get to spend it at the Johnson's, and am looking forward to so many things: seeing Ana & Josiah all cute and dressed up for Easter, just spending family time with the girls, cheesy potatoes, playing games in the afternoon, celebrating Peggy's birthday and letting her know how dearly we all lover her. I have to wonder if Scott will come home for the day, but I doubt it. Even if he does, it doesn't matter to me, our friendship went dormant months ago. Though sometimes, when I think about it, I miss my friend.

In any case, I can't let myself dwell on that too long, so here's some girly, fun news. I have a cute new dress to wear for Easter. I got it a few weeks ago before I had to go on a budget. (I don't know how I'm going to manage this whole budget thing - it SUCKS!!!) So, it's very pretty, and though I got it for a date with Jed, I never wore it on a date with Jed. His loss. It's pretty though, a dark teal blue modal knit, with a low vee and cap sleeves, and a trapeeze skirt. It has a lime green sash that double wraps around a low empire waist, and I have adorable shoes and a matching necklace to go with. Can't wait .

Well, speaking of can't wait - my breakfast just popped up from the toaster, and I am hungry, so it's time to wrap up. Till next time....happy trails!

1 comment:

China Doll said...

I started a budget too!

Well, it's less of a budget now and more like a list of what I'm spending on what, which makes me more aware of the necessities and splurges I make, which will then in turn result in a budget I intend to keep.

All with the goal of traveling and buying gifts before I return to the states!