Aaaarrrggghhhh!!! There is a bat in our hallway!! Aaaaarrrggghhh!!
So, tonight, I got home from dinner at the Johnson's (we had THE best egg rolls in the history of egg rolls!), and immediately went to my room so I could catch the last hour of the Lost season finale. Then, when it was over, I got in my pj's and stepped out into the hallway to go use the restroom.
There, in the darkness, I could see that there was a bat flying around. Aaaaarrrggghhh!!!!!
So I freaked out, and ran into the bathroom and locked the door and yelled for my roommate Nicole, but either she's a very sound sleeper or she's at her boyfriend's house tonight. I bet he doesn't have bats.
So, I panicked. I brushed my teeth, and washed my face and feet and then I panicked some more. I was too scared to go back out into the hall. I sat in the bathroom for twelve minutes, too scared to even open the door. I did crack it just a hair, once or twice, to see if I could still see the little thing flying around, but the hallway is dark, and with the light from the bathroom behind me, I couldn't see a thing. I was in a panic, and the thought of never leaving the restroom crossed my mind more than you'd expect.
I remember hearing a rumor in college that if you have long hair, bats are attracted to it, because they like to get stuck in your hair, or they want to make a nest there or something. That freaked me out a little bit, because all my hair binders are in my room. So, I wrapped a towel around my head, and one around my shoulders. I figured, just in case the bat landed on me, I could easily throw the towel off and not have to swat it with my hands.
Then, I took my chances, drew in a deep breath, thought again about sleeping in the bathroom tonight, and threw open the door. I ducked down as low as I could and still run, and darted so quickly back to my room that I must've been invisible to the little pest's sense of sonar or radar or whatever bats have.
It didn't follow me in. But I checked every crevice, nook and cranny in my room just in case. I checked the screens on all my windows, to make sure there are no other ways in for it's freaky little friends, and then I stuck towels under my door and moved my ironing board in front of it, so that it can't swing open in the night.
I must say, it flips me out just a wee little bit to know that the summer pest season I was so flippantly warned about has begun. I think I was actually inducted last night, when a fly got in my room, and I tried to swat it, but failed. I thought I had it, but then it came back in the middle of the night and landed on my arm, and I swatted it off with enough force to find it dead on the floor this morning. Urck!
But bats are a far cry from flies. And the freaky-deaky little squirrel that was outside my window this morning is not exactly a welcomed houseguest either. It had no hair on it's tail. Like someone had taken a bottle brush, and grasped the bristles the opposite way, and just smoothed their fingers down, taking every little hair and fiber with it on the way. The poor thing's tail was just stripped down to a long, wiry mess and quite frankly it was a little too close to my window for comfort.
Squirrels. Flies Now bats. I hear we have mice and God knows what else in the walls. Summertime is here, and there's a party at my house. Maybe it's time for me to get a snake.