"I am NOT a ridiculous person!" - Meredith Morton, from The Family Stone

I've been told that I am a "Wear My Heart On My Sleeve" kind of gal. It's true, that I'm pretty transparent - an open book. If I'm feeling it, I'm almost incapable of hiding it, though at times it would serve me better to be more discreet.

Today, more than anything, I just want to write on here how frustrated, hurt, angry, sad and irritated I am at more than just a few things. Namely, the actions of friends this weekend. I just want to get into every detail of every hurt from the last two days. No worries though, I won't.

What I will say is this: The causes for my irritability run the gamot from last minute cancellations of my tourney (for some pretty stupid, selfish reasons if you ask me!) to a strong sense that all my hard work went vastly unappreciated & unvalued, to some more personal hurts from the (I hope) unintentional meanness of a good friend. No matter what the reasons are though, the combination of these factors with the fact that I'm running on about 11 hours of sleep since Friday are making me want to flippin' cry today.

And tonight, of all the things I have to do, I am having a pow-wow with the landlord of my building regarding the unchecked squirrell problems & deteriorating state of my apartment. I'm sooooo looking forward to that, or not.

In any case, that's all I feel safe disclosing though it's the least of what's weighing on my heart. I know I must sound like a sensitive baby (trust me, the guilt and confusion I'm feeling for even having these feelings is disturbing), but I can not tell a lie. I'm really bumming out right now.