Speechless

I haven't had much to say lately. Part of that is that I've been so busy - packing, moving, Kari left -I mourned, the Herdles are in town, so that means staying up super late playing cards every night, going to the waterpark, the MOA, having four (five if you count Aidan) kids crawl on me, beat me, smother me with pillows and want me to paint their nails constantly (well, ok, that's just one out of five). It's the life, let me tell you! Well short of the moving thing.

See, I like the feeling of being in a new place. The freshness of it appeals to me and is so exciting. Especially that first night, when you're in a new bed, listening to new sounds, on fresh, Downey smelling sheets, exhausted from all the moving you've just done. It's a good feeling. I just don't like the packing - which is really the "getting there". I hate packing, and as usual, I have procrastinated something fierce this time. I move tomorrow. I'm about 1/4 of the way through. I still have all my clothes (dear God, someone please stop me from ever buying any new clothes again!!). And my books, my bedding and my dishes. Katrina is going to come over today for quality time, and we can pack together. I trust her with my most fragile items, so she gets the kitchen stuff, and I can through the shoes in boxes and be done.

I've got big dreams & high hopes for the new place. Despite it's reputation of being something of a dump (thank you Roger, I didn't notice the stairs were dilapidated!). The inside of my new apartment holds so much potential, really it's only limit is my imagination and my budget. I am excited at the prospect of new colors and the old colors that are there. I'm even more excited at the prospect of refurbishing and refinishing old items to make them new again. I need to make a Home Depot run, but I am waiting till I'm all moved in and can make a fair assessment of what I really need instead of going there and wanting to buy everything in sight. Hey, I'm being good!

The one thing in my life that is even more thrilling to me right now than even a new apartment is this - a road trip! One of my favorite things in all of life! Road Trips thrill me like nothing else. Especially summer ones. I don't know why - maybe because I have an overactive imagination, a love for weird gas station food, a desire to just drive for miles and miles and feel like I'm running away. I don't know.

I do know this - in 8 days I will be sneaking out at 4 or 5 in the morning, jeans and a tank, flip flops and sunglasses, Cherry Coke and my music, and Kirsten, Kaya, Jon and I will be driving the Herdles new car across this gorgeous country and into Washington. We plan on hitting a few places along the way, like Mount Rushmore, where I've never been, and Yellowstone (where I have been, albeit briefly). Once we get to Washington, we'll make more memories by driving up the coast to Seattle, to Leavenworth, Mount St. Helens and then back down again to Portland and maybe even the Sea Lion Caves, home of those far off childhood memories of dark slimy fish and a lot of barking.

I can't wait. The next 8 days will seem so long, even despite their promise of Home Depot runs, painting and settling in. I wish every day could be a road trip.

On a related note - Kirsten is trying to convince me that I need to move to Washington, and don't think it hasn't crossed my mind. It's not like I don't know people there - Mike, Kirsten & the kids. Dave & Diane. Karel & Myra. Danielle. Brent. The LaPores. I could make a decent life of it.

I have had to ask myself what is holding me back from making that choice, and the only thing would be my MN family - the Johnsons and the love I have for them. I love being around them and spending time with them, and for the first time other than with the Herdles, I really feel connected, loved, accepted and part of a family.

I miss them like crazy right now, I haven't had a chance to spend much time with them lately. I watched Ana & Josiah last week, with Nana. We danced, took a walk, ate a popsicle, watched part of a movie, danced some more and played swords throughout. But I haven't had a chance to spend quality time with any of the adults since, well, for a long time. Of course my natural instinct of fear of rejection sets in after a while, and I am worried that maybe I've done something to offend them. But I know that must just be my imagination and I can't wait to see it proven wrong as we hang out again soon.

I know that I would have that kind of love and family feeling in Washington, with the Herdles and the Normans, but I would miss the Johnson's more than I could write.

Well, I've written a lot for having nothing to say this morning. I should be up getting ready for church - but as with packing, I'm procrastinating. Such a good quality! If I don't keep blogging in the next week or so, it's probably because I'm buried under a mountain of old boxes, newspapers and clothing that I really should pass along. Hope for the best!