Tuesday, June 01, 2010

The Sounds of Silence

Sometimes I don't blog because I literally have nothing to say. I enjoy the silence. Sometimes you can't shut me up.

I've been going through a transitional time lately. In so, so many ways. In my living arrangements, my job, what I eat, who I believe I am, who I believe God is, my age, romantically, emotionally, spiritually. Wow, you name it - it's been shaken up for me this year. And that's a really good, exciting thing.

I don't dislike change. I know that through it we grow - we are pruned, and fed new things, and grow and blossom, and are cut back again. I like growing. I adore flowers, and gardens and planting things, and Bachmans or the garden section at Lowes. So maybe it's only natural that I embrace change.

When I'm going through it, it's rarely easy though. They're called growing pains for a reason. But the fruit, ah the fruit.
Anyways, all this to say, that I haven't had a lot to say lately, because in all actuality, I've had too much to say. Too much to put into words, to try and filter, to organize and communicate. So sometimes I just say nothing at all. I like being quiet - it's so unlike me.

In other news, yesterday I went to Anthro, with a wonderful friend. She'd never been there before, so I had the privilege of doing some Anthro deflowering. She spoils me too, showing her appreciation for my friendship and hand-me-downs much too generously. I don't deserve it.

While she was there, she bought these - Keels Simple Diary's. Their covers are fruity and bright but their pages are filled with whimsical and random multiple choice questions that get to the heart of what kind of your day you're having, at any given time. They're charming and provide seemingly thoughtless journaling that, for someone like me, would just open the door down many a bunny trail.

She bought two, one for herself, and one for her sister, and they plan to trade them eventually, to see what each other is thinking, going through, living like. I adore that idea. If I ever date someone again, I want to do this. I want to see someone through the eyes of their day-to-day existence, not the fancy Saturday night impressions. I'm hopeful - both that someday there sill be someone out there to date me, and that he'll not look at the journal and think I'm some kind of fruit loop. It could be fun. It could happen.

Till then, like I said, I'm enjoying the silence. I've got my music turned way up loud and am singing along to some Under The Covers, sweet music of my memories, by my second favorite girl-band musician of the 80's (Belinda Carlisle being the first). I'm painting this week (hopefully) and the creative juices are flooooowing. It doesn't mean I'll have much to say, but maybe sometimes a picture can paint a thousand words.

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