Skinny B*tch

I'm on a diet. Aren't those the worst words in the English language, or any language really? How often do you think French women say "I'm on a diet"? Lucky ducks!

I'm not really on a diet, in that I hate dieting, and I don't "do" diets. I hate the thought that going "on a diet" makes it sound like there's this temporary factor to what you're doing, and that immediate results and drastic lifestyle changes are imminent.

I can't handle that.

But I bought a book, after watching two friends start to facebook about it, and being slightly intrigued. It's called Skinny B*tch. I figured it was going to tell me nothing I didn't already know. Having battled with Celiac's and feeling like I'm on the losing side of that battle, now for four years, I am well acquainted with exactly what I need to be doing to treat my body right. I've read the books about the Gluten/Casein & Brain connection, the Auto-Immune connection between what we eat, clean our houses with, use to wash our bodies off with and how we feel. As someone who's perpetually sore hips constantly remind her they need a good cracking, who feels like my head is a marble resting on an orange (my middle section) atop two toothpicks (my surprisingly muscular and lean legs), and who has actually has a journal for her food/mood connection I can honestly tell you that I KNOW that when I eat crap, I feel crappy, and when I eat good food, I feel energized, alert and positive. Believe me, there's not a lot that surprises me about food and diet and health these days.

It's just that I like food. And food that tastes good. A lot more than I should.

So, that being said, I am really not on a diet. I'm just making a renewed commitment to myself to get back to eating right. To cutting out fatty meats, well all meat really (for a bit, we'll see how it goes). To cutting out Gluten for sure, and dairy for sure. I think the hardest part of that will be my Pepper Jack cheese obsession, but whatevs.

This week was kind of the clincher, in making this decision. Monday night I had a raging snack attack and bought candy and treats for the movies. This AFTER Potbelly for dinner. Needless to say I had nightmares that night (the peppers from Potbelly always do this to me). Tuesday was the all American, down home Paula Deen fat-fest. And then there Wednesday's youth group Junk Food/High Fructose Corn Syrup extravaganza. But the nail in the coffin was Ikea. Curse you Ikea, how I love your Swedish meatballs & Lingonberry sauce!!! Ikea on Thursday.

You see, yesterday, M and I went to Ikea to pick up a bookcase for her, and we stopped for lunch. Of course you have to get Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes and lingonberry sauce when you get there. But about 1/2 an hour after eating it, I thought I had ingested large doses of carbon monoxide. I was literally dead on my feet. Isn't food supposed to energize and power you? I felt like my lunch was laced with Roofies, I was so tired. All I wanted to do was come home and take a nap, and trust me, with M at Ikea, there's no getting home soon. But when we finally did make it back home, she too was feeling equally lethargic and naps were definitely in order. I'm blaming the Swedes and their cheap, modular furniture and sleep-inducing food.

In any case, her and I were talking about food, and diet, etc, after I bought the Skinny B*tch book with her at Target. I was telling her about a comment a good friend made the other day about trying to watch his "girlish figure" and how I just laugh because I think he's just fine the way he is. What does a guy like that know about women and our weight battles? Or being fat? But then after realizing that this friend, who is fit and athletic, is trying to watch what he eats, I, of all people should too. And it hit me, hard mind you, that as someone who often cooks for her friends, I am in control of what other people eat, and I should respect that, and their wishes a whole lot more. The whole week in reverse played out in my mind, from Wednesday night bringing snacks to youth group (Oreos, Chips Ahoy, Cheesy Puffcorn, Doritos, Cream Soda and Baby Moo Juice aka Milk), to the night before when I stuffed chicken breasts with bbq butter and wrapped them in bacon, before I used a whole jar of mayonaise in my potato salad. Ewww, can you hear it? It's the sound of my arteries clogging just thinking about it? Ew!!!

Yesterday, all day long, all I could think about was the disservice I had done to others and to myself, in my cooking and the snacks I bought, and I knew I had to turn over a new leaf. I dug right into Skinny B*tch like a bowl of Mint Chip ice cream and am halfway through it. It's a pretty good book, minus the language. But hey, sometimes I need a kick in the pants.

I don't want to jump on any bandwagons. I want to make a lasting change. But the nice thing is, I don't really think I'll be doing anything drastic with the changes I am implementing. Just being more moderate, more healthy, and respecting my body a whole lot more. They say habits take 14 days of regular, daily practice before they set in as routine. I can do it, I think. I'm on day 6 of walking/running. I'm on day one of gluten/dairy free, reduced meat, increased water, no pop, no candy, no ice cream, no joy (haha just kidding) eating. And I'm determined that with a little help from my friends, I too can someday be a Skinny B*tch. Well minus the B*tch part, because honestly, I can't wait to show my friends how much I love them by creating wonderful vegetable heavy, fat reduced meals for them and being their exercise accountability partner.

We'll all be pretty, you wait & see.