Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Sometime in the last week I've done something very bad to my shoulder, both my pinkies, two spots on my left arm and one on my left thigh. Soreness and bruises have resulted. Did I just get beat up last night, and forgot it somehow? Those Taco Tuesday's, you know they can get a little out of hand.

At least my ego remains intact, as usually that's the first to show signs of wear & tear, when it comes to me. I have learned all too well to live life humbled and laughing at myself. I'm ok with it, but I'm sure it must rob me of some minor form of dignity and gracefulness.

I'm not a graceful person, in the physical sense, to say the least. If there is food to be spilled, it's on my clothes, something to be knocked over, it's at my feet, as are my glasses now as well. And oops, did I just kick them across the room? That's just me. Some women, and men too, for that matter, were born with a swanlike gracefulness. Me? Well, let's just say I'm more Lucille Ball than Audrey Hepburn.

I think I need my own comedy show. An odd mix of Jackass and Carol Burnett. Or close to. But can it be in New York please? I can't do a show in the Midwest - my family would never watch it.

If I had to pick a city I was made for, Los Angeles would not be it. Though this morning, after walking the dog, and feeding him, and trying to reason him out of unnecessary barking, I did mention to R for Roommate that I miss LA sometimes, when it's a great summer day out, and I remember that in my hometown, they were all great summer days.

Memories of LA have been flooding me recently, and I don't know if it's the weather - though I can't imagine it would be with this crappy rain (just kidding Mr. Weather, my garden needs it). I think part of it has been reconnecting with old friends, and what not. Yesterday, something monumental happened on facebook (wow, irony!). I requested an old friend, as my FBF (facebook friend) and she said yes.

Now, this may sound suprising, like "Why, wouldn't she?" but this is someone I haven't talked to in 13 years, and who turned her back on me, and our lifelong friendship, when I became a Christian. We had been best friends since I was 11, and her friendship was one of the hardest things for me to lose. Somehow, I always thought she'd stick by me - I thought we were friends through thick and thin, and that included religious differences.

For those of you that are not familiar with my testimony, or how I came to Christ, here's the Cliff Notes of it. I was born & raised a Jehovah's Witness, and was one till I turned 21. As a JW, I had no other friends than other JW's, since they are very adamant about only associating within their ranks. Everyone I knew, friends, family, boyfriends, were all JW's. The year I turned 21, I came to know the Lord (awesome story how, but for another time), and left being a Jehovah's Witness, to pursue my newfound faith. I lost every person I knew, with the exception of my mother, and a few family members.

Years later I look back on that time, of being pulled out of a cult, and stripped of all I used as my identity, my security, my life, and I thank God immensely. How good He was to save me, and my life has never been the same. But I miss those people sometimes, and I always, always missed A.

Yesterday, as I was on facebook, chatting with another old, mutual friend (someone who also left the JW cult, 5 years after I did), I saw A in her friend's section. Sheer boldness gripped me spontaneously and I sent her a friend request. Sometimes I can be a bit impetious, and I look back on my decision to leave the JW cult as impetious, but well grounded in God's grace and will and destined plan. I can only hope that trying to reestablish contact with her will be equally blessed. And today, when I saw that she accepted my friend request, a glimmer of hope sparked in my heart, that hopefully, this could be the beginning of a great friendship, once again. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Anyways, this is a lot of words to say so little something. I'm clumsy. I sometimes miss LA (the beach mostly), and I pray that God works in the hearts of my friends, from so long ago, to draw them to Himself, and back to friendship for me. Today, bruises abound on my body, but 13 years ago, when I lost my friends, it was my heart that was so damaged that it's taken this long to recover. No matter how much more damage I manage to incur, I rest secure in the knowledge that it's my God who heals me. Heart, mind, soul, shoulders, pinkies, arms & thighs. True Story.

No comments: