Saturday, September 15, 2007

A Different Kind Of Road Rage

I know, it's been a while since I've posted. I've decided to wait till the city-wide Wireless goes in to get "up & running" in the new place. So far, I'm still waiting. This means I have no Internet access at home - a discipline and a blessing as well as a frustration.

In the meantime, I can post from Jon's house, or Dunn Bros, when their ghetto computer is working and there's not some weirdo camping at it. So, here's what I have to say for now:

1. I want to start a Gluten Free bakery. I've shared this with maybe two people, and I have a few ideas. It's a necessity for wheat-dorks like me, who can't eat bread or cookies or cakes or anything. I made my first Gluten-Free product today - a GF banana bread that wasn't that bad. I know that the other Celiac's sufferers in the Twin Cities would love it, so I've been tossing the idea around. Speaking of tossing, I made the mistake the other day of convincing myself that two slices of bread wouldn't make that big of a difference if it was covered in delicious avocado, heirloom tomato, mayo (yep, the gucky stuff) and thick sliced Applewood smoked bacon. Oh, was I wrong. I tossed more than salad, more than some ideas around - I tossed my cookies and prayed for Jesus to take me home for like a day. Yeah - it's official. I can't eat wheat.

2. I have a new kind of Road Rage. Now that I'm carless, I've been enjoying the fine fall weather by getting out on my bike to do things every day. It is my only source of transportation and one that will give me thighs of steel. I am loving getting around on my bike more than I ever anticipated

But, as I've learned, it's not just people in cars that are stupid or who can inspire my irritation. People on sidewalks, in crosswalks, hey, just in general are STUPID, stupid. I've encountered everything from people who see me coming in an intersection, and still pull out in front of me, causing me to swerve to avoid being hit by them, to people on sidewalks who when you mindfully shout "On you left" respond with "Hey Cupcake, you're looking fine. Wanna come sit on my lap Cupcake?" I have never before, in my life had the opportunity to use this exact phrase "On your left, and I'm NOT YOUR CUPCAKE A$%HOLE!" in my life. Sorry for the profanity. But when someone's response is "Awwww, come on Cupcake, don't be like that" it will drive you to use language best saved for men's locker rooms.

3. Monster House is coming along. But it's time to mouse proof, as colder weather is here. I went to my new favorite hang out - Hudson's Ace Hardware on 42nd & 28th (shout out to Kathy!!) - this week, like four times, and have been having fun hanging things, fixing things and generally organizing & reorganizing my toolbox. I had so much fun picking it out, as well as all the fun things to go in it, at the Northland Tent at the State Fair with the kind help of Harry Johnson, who was incredulous that I didn't even own a toolbox, and now I am having equal amounts of fun using it.

So yeah, that's kind of it for me. One last thing - this one goes out to Vanessa, who flatters me with her admiration for my blog - if you thought the broom sticking out of my messenger bag as I was riding my bike home was funny, you should've seen me this week as I strapped a Swiffer Wet Jet, still in the box, to my back and biked to my friend Katrina's. I felt like Nanny 911, but the cleaning version. It was pretty sweet. I totally reminded myself of Mary Poppins (who ironically, Ana won't stop calling me).

Ok, that's it for now. I left Aidan upstairs watching episodes of "Yo Momma". We noticed that Wilmer has like, one gesture, and it's a strange combination of a gesture from Patty Cake & some 1970's Player-Pimp dance move. Yeah, I don't know how his dad will feel about me letting him watch that while I'm Aidan-sitting, but what he doesn't know might not make him hate me. Heheh. Like that's even possible!

1 comment:

Kari said...

I'm so happy when you talk about how much you love your bike! I used it MAYBE twice when I had it needed some tweaking that I wasn't proactive enough to do. My friend Martha's ex-husband used to own the bike, and he left it behind. (It takes a true man to own a bike with an Odie bell.) It had been sitting in her garage for years, and then in was sitting on my porch for two years. Thank goodness someone is getting use out of it in an adorable Mary-Poppins way!

I love you like a mouse loves rice!