The One About The Skirt

Ok, the votes are in, and the skirt is OUT! OMG! In case I didn’t feel self conscious enough about this stupid skirt I’m wearing today, I have had three people comment on it, both positively and negatively in the last hour.

The first one was rather humorous. I was walking past CTB’s (the new acronym for Cute Tech Boy) desk earlier, when I heard him call out “Hey, the gypsy camp called. They want their skirt back”. Ok, now. This is actually funny, since it’s a foray from his usual “Hey, the Senior Home called, some old lady wants her coat back”, which I get every single time I wear my cute Nordstrom coat with the fur on the collar & cuffs.

Secondly, I got up from my desk to get something and I noticed that there is a trail of tiny silver sequins along the path from the copier to where I sit. It’s like a tiny little fashion Hansel & Gretel have been here. Except it’s my skirt. As I was picking them up off the floor, lest anyone else see them and further humiliating comments ensue, the guy who sits across from me said “Yeah, I noticed those earlier. Yeah, your skirt is really, umm, girly”. Good night! When did girly ever get you anywhere in the workplace? Then again when did blogging all day long either?

Third, and lastly. As I was picking up said sequins from in front of the printer, one of the rare nice people from Account Services happened to walk by, and she said “Hey, I like your skirt. I meant to tell you earlier”. Of course, since I’m a “let it all hang out there” kinda person, I replied with “Really? You don’t think I look like I’m channeling Stevie Nicks?” to which she replied (thus causing me to hate my attire & cringe with horror) “Oh, but that’s what I like about it!”

Waaaahhhh! Waaaaahhhh! (In a whiny, crying voice) I look like a circa-80’s Stevie Nicks, but more colorful!!!! Actually, you could say I look like a circa-70’s-80’s-90’s-Present Day Stevie Nicks, because Dear Lord, she hasn’t changed her skirt or hairdo in thirty years!!! This skirt was really fashionable when I bought it!! Two years ago!! Oh no! It’s so going in the Hand-Me-Down bag tonight, although I really don’t have the heart to pass its tragic unfashionableness along to Michelle, because I love her. I couldn’t lead her astray down the path of tackiness that seems to follow this garment like a cloud or a shadow. Maybe I’ll give it to L.S., since its right up her alley (which, without meaning to be, is kind of an insult. Sorry L.S.!)

Anyways, that’s the one about the skirt. I know it’s vapid, shallow, slightly insensitive to L.S., but I had to write it. I had to share my skirt woe. Sigh…..I do digress.