Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Not Sure What To Title This, So This Will Have To Do.

A thought occurred to me this morning. A horrific, fear inspiring, terrible thought. Something that shook me up with insecurity for probably the rest of the day. Today, I could be mistaken for a homeschooler. OMG! The fear. The terror. The shaaaame!!!

So, what made me come to this terribly painful possibility. Well, today, I caught myself singing to myself, profusely singing to myself. Humming, singing, and Christmas songs nonetheless. That and I’m wearing a skirt, turtleneck and tall boots today, which could either be construed as fashionably warm or plain old Mormon based on the fact that I’m not showing an ounce of skin (yes, I have been watching too much Big Love).

Anyways, I used to know someone who did this very thing. No, not be fashionably warm - sing to herself. All the time. She would hum, or sing, quietly, under her breath, no matter what she was doing. She was just happy. So am I. But she was homeschooled, and though she was a raving liberal, she had the tragic foundation of freaky geekiness that only homeschoolers could fail to hide. Perchance, could I be mistaken for this kind of weird today?

I can’t help it that I hum and sing to myself. It’s freakin’ Christmas time people! The best time of the year! I have family I love so very much. I have a cute little apartment. I’m getting a cat. I have the joy of the Lord for goodness sake, and can I help it if it manifests itself in tone-deaf renditions of “Melikelikimaka” as I do my work? Or “We Three Kings” or “O Come Emmanuel” or “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”. I just love to sing. I love Christmas. I love to sing songs about Christmas.

So, as I was walking through the office, singing quietly to myself, wondering if my outfit really was a step too far on the path of “I’m starting to look my age”, that’s when it hit me. I look like a home schooler (well, not really, I have a hairstyle, and wear makeup). I sing like a homeschooler (I could throw some Kanye in there for good measure). I could be mistaken for this bane of coolness. The antithesis of all things me. Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggghhhhhh!!

Now, I must admit, not all homeschoolers are freaks of nature. Just 99.98% of them. And I say this with just a tad of caution, since one of my best friends has fallen for a homeschooler (Why, oh why? When I thought you were so wonderfully smart???) I don’t want to offend anyone (Wow, was that ever a lie!). I’m sure there are some exceptions to the rule out there, as in any major group of people who attempt (but sadly fail) to defy classification & stereotype. But, the fact remains, there just is something uniquely “off” about them as a group. And frankly, I want to make a good impression on the Cute Tech Boy at work (who, I caught looking in my direction as I was walking back from the copy machine). And he’s just cool enough to fall into the category called “Common Sense” that recognizes that most of this blissfully ignorant, deprived community (the homeschoolers) are total dorks without a smidge of social aptitude.

I don’t want him to think that about me. At all. Why, why did I wear this skirt today? It’s so last season! Older than that even. It’s two years old. It looks like something I should’ve handed down already. And black tights with brown boots? Thinking no one would notice? Yes, shut up, I am this shallow.

I wonder if I can head up to the mall at work and get brown tights from Target. At least that might assuage some of my (probably unnoticed and unfounded) fears. Ok, this is good, all this unnecessary worrying about my skirt being mistaken as “Made In Utah” has caused me to stop singing. Progress. Progress indeed.

In the meantime, mull over this, one of the songs so ironically stuck in my head this morning: A favorite carol (and a movie with both George Clooney and Mark Wahlburg), “We Three Kings”. Note the references to Easter towards the end. That’s kind of why I like it. It’s more than just “He was born a babe”, it’s the full lifespan in one song.

We Three Kings

We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar.
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star.

O star of wonder, star of night,
Star with royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect Light.

Born a king on Bethlehem's plain,
Gold I bring to crown Him again,
King forever, ceasing never
Over us all to reign.

Frankincense to offer have I.
Incense owns a Deity nigh.
Prayer and praising all men raising,
Worship Him, God on high.

Myrrh is mine: Its bitter perfume
Breaths a life of gathering gloom.
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding dying,
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb.

Glorious now behold Him arise,
King and God and Sacrifice.
Alleluia, alleluia!
Sounds through the earth and skies.

O star of wonder, star of night,
Star with royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect Light

1 comment:

danielle said...

YOUR, YOU, are getting a cat!?! i remember a post a while back about the horrid-ness of cats! (like my new word lol)

what has happened to the cat hater? LOL has the christmas season given you a new fondness for tiny pieces of liter everywhere, and pet hair on every. single. inch. of your clothing? ROFL! have fun with your new kitty.... poor thing will end up at "the farm" LOL ;)

ok, i LOVE the old-timer christmas music! I LOVE my "Bing Crosby and Friends christmas" cd, its got bing, sinatra (whom i adore! lol)rosemary clooney. also love my frank christmas cd's too