I'm gonna be better about this blogging thing than I have been in the past year, I swear! And on that note, here are ten thoughts that are running through my head this Tuesday:
1. I cannot stop thinking about this poem:
2. So excited for my handsome hubby, as he starts book club this week. One of the reasons I fell in love with him is because he is a voracious reader. Our children are gonna be wicked smart! He and his book club guys are reading C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. Anyone else read this? Any thoughts on it? Seriously, I need to get into a book club! Grrr.
3. Spring is here (well, a very Seattle-esque kind of spring, if you will). That means dresses, and skirts. I love dressing up, and feel so much better about myself when I do. Although in the last two years I have become much more accustomed to just being comfy in jeans and a tee shirt, and I like that too, but in an entirely different way, with different gratification. Today I look very nice in a royal blue pencil skirt, a coral cowl neck, dotted shell, and a tan leather belt and pumps. I have already received two compliments from coworkers, who are probably surprised after I came in on Friday in yoga pants, a tee shirt, and flip flops. I hope the HH (handsome hubby) appreciates the look. I remember so many times, in my single days, thinking I was wasting a pretty outfit on no one at all, and now that I have someone, he prefers me in sweatpants and a tee-shirt (true story!). Even still, I know he loves me.
4. Erin Hannon (Ellie Kemper's character on the now ended The Office) is my new fashion inspiration. I think I'm going to Google as many of her outfits as I can.
5. Was anyone else seriously let down by the quality of the new Arrested Development episodes? Bummer!! I ended up playing Draw Something during a few of them (the George Sr. episodes mostly) because they were so not up to par.
6. "It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness." - Charles Spurgeon. As I contemplate my desire to have a baby, and the inexplicable pressure I feel (sometimes self generated, admittedly), to have one sooner rather than later, I need to remind myself to appreciate, enjoy, and be grateful for what I have, instead of focusing on what I want. This is tough. Now that the wedding is over, I am left with this "what now?" feeling. The fact that we live in a culture that sets brides up for that particular failure, all too easily, only makes me sad and angry. It is time to rejoice, in the fullness of love poured into our hearts by the Creator Himself, and out to the ones we love, and the world around us, instead of searching for the next big thing to fill my life. Which in my case, is the (only natural) desire to have a baby. Of course, the fact that I'm not getting any younger either, approaching my 38th birthday in a week and a half, only exacerbates things. Amidst all these valid feelings, and desires, I have to honestly ask myself, "Would I be happy with my life, if I never had children?" I have to evaluate the sincerity and motivations behind my answer, and deal with myself honestly too. I keep telling myself, it is not how much I have, but how much I enjoy, that makes my happiness, and I have a lot in life to enjoy. And yet, knowing this truth, I still find myself falling prey to the all consuming thought of pregnancy, on a daily basis. I'm sure there will be more on this subject later, but for now, it is a daily discipline to rejoice in what I do have, and lay aside anything distracting me from that contentment.
8. Now that the honeymoon is over - I want to go on a trip. I want to go to Boston, and San Francisco, and Montana, and Italy, and Scotland, and just take a road trip. Though at $4.19 a gallon, for gas, I doubt that is happening. This year, I doubt that we'll be going anywhere, and that makes me a little sad. I sometimes wonder how I can ignite the travel bug in my HH, as he's much more of a homebody than I am. Hmmm, any suggestions folks?
9. To the person I follow on Pinterest, who keeps posting photos of winterscapes and snowflakes: If you do not knock this $#!& off soon, I will find you, and I will end you. Seriously, half my Pinterest this morning was photos of snowy white fields, tress covered in snow, and up close snowflakes. I know you, you live in Minnesota, the same as I do. Are you on freaking crack? Quit that #$%@ OUT!!
10. I want to learn to braid. To French braid, and Fishtail braid specifically. Am looking for people to practice on. Please let me know if you want to come over and sit in front of me and be my guinea pig for a while. Serious.
Well, that's it for this Tuesday. I got no sleep last night, so I'm a little crabby and finding it hard to focus. Our crazy neighbor was banging on the wall last night because my HH was snoring too loudly. Seriously woman?!?!?! He sleeps through your knocking, but I, halfway asleep due to said snoring, do not. Do you think your knocking on our walls at midnight helps? You have no idea what a truly loud, or inconsiderate, neighbor sounds like. Trust me, I lived in that fourplex. I know. YOU, do not. Thus, I think it might be time to go hit up the Nespresso machine in the breakroom and make myself a quad shot almond milk latte. Serious.
And that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.