Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Setting The Record Straight Once Again

Sooo.... I posted something last week that I had on my mind for months, but hadn't found the courage to say. It's below if you want to read it.

Since that time I've been doing some more thinking, based mostly off of two very snarky, very hurtful comments I received, about the nature of being passive aggressive, and what role it plays in speculation, rumors and "sanctified" gossip.

I think it plays a big role, since it's basis is in avoidance. Avoidance of the issues, avoidance of a person, avoidance of confrontation (which isn't always a bad thing!). Avoidance is often at the core of gossip and speculation, as gossip is a sin that never confronts anyone to their face, but whispers about them behind their back. Gossip is, more often than not, an "Anonymous" sin.

Was it passive aggressive of me to post my thoughts on gossip, speculation and rumor-mongering? Only if I had done so without confronting my accusers, which as I mentioned halfway through the post, I have done, or at least those that have been brave enough to bring their concerns to my face.

Sadly very few people that have been spreading gossip or speculating about me have also been brave enough to confront me about my supposed actions to my face. I can count them on one hand. I am very grateful for them, and if anything I respect them more for having talked to me about their concerns, and for having come to me in person, and it has deepened both our friendship and my appreciation for them. These same individuals, however, have also shared with me that other people have been questioning them, and bringing their grievances about my "Lifestyle Choices" to their attention. What I'd like to know is this - Exactly what kind of sin pit do they think I've fallen into?

The people that have been brave enough to share their concerns to my face have also held the right to protect the identity of the people who have chosen to remain anonymous in their gossip and speculation. I respect that right completely, as I think in a way, it ends the vicious cycle of gossip and rumors. If those people who are asking about me are not brave or caring enough to confront me personally, and would prefer to take the passive aggressive way out, then I don't want to know who they are anyways.

Ironically enough then, the very thing I'm being accused of, for posting what I did below, is the thing that I have fallen victim to. It's easy to ask someone else about a person, requesting to remain anonymous, and know that you can get the scoop on a person, air your opinions, and all the while be protected. It's equally easy to post a comment that's hurtful and rude, knowing your identity will be shown as "Anonymous". Sadly, it's very easy to be passive aggressive.

What takes courage, people, what requires guts and balls, and at least a decent level of caring is this: Confronting someone face to face. Or email to email, text to text, message to message. There is something very admirable about that, and something that flies in the face of sin. I think this is why Jesus told us to air our grievances to our brothers and sisters, if we have a problem with them. In doing so, we demonstrate courage, a level of caring, and we let Satan know that we refuse to live in the dark, but choose instead to walk in the light, and we invite those we have grievances with to do the same.

I challenge those people who've chosen to post Anonymously on my blog to walk in the light, and message me. My email address is trinetterkaiser@gmail.com, I'm on Facebook (see the widget to the left), and if you know me personally then you probably have my number. Will I be offended? Surprisingly, probably not in the least, as I can't imagine what level of courage and humility it would take to call me. More than likely, I'd be flattered and as long as you're willing to hear my side of the story, I'd be willing to hear yours too. As for the ones that have chosen to circumvent communication, and yes, the biblical outline for confronting your Christian brother, I encourage you to do the same - call or message me.

More than anything I want my side of the story to be known. I want people to know that I care, that I forgive, and that I'm alive and not living the life they might have heard I am. I just want the truth to be known. Which is why I've chosen to write about (not to mention the fact, that for me, blogging is highly cathartic, and well within my rights to write whatever I want to. It's my blog, so there!).

And at the end of another day, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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