Friday, February 02, 2007

"The Cynical Romantic Un-Divorcee" - A Doris Day/Liz Taylore Production

Now anyone who knows me well, knows that I'm not really the type to sit around gushing over romance. I am just not like other girls that way, no matter how "girly" I am perceived. I think part of it is that I'm so happy in my life as a single woman, that I would much rather stay as such then to settle for anything less than the best God has for me. And since that "best" is nothing I can conjure up through my own efforts, I don't really put much time or energy into dating or even thinking about dating or romance in general.

I'm not the type to get saddened over Valentines Day, I don't care for romantic comedies (I think they're porn for Christian women, give me a war drama any day), and I don't gaze starry-eyed and dreamily at newlywed couples or wedding magazines.

That is, till I discovered the wedding announcement page on Who knew that such a thing existed? Granted, I remember a vague reference of a Burberry nature on a Sex & The City episode, but the reality of these lovelorn announcements is far superior to anything HBO could've come up with. They are the sweetest stories. And the naive, quixotic, idealistic romantic in me get's all teary eyed reading them. Where did this girl come from?

Not that I sit in hopeful anticipation for myself, as much as I hold out an optimistic "wouldn't this be nice if they actually made it work" attitude for the couples. I read their announcements, and more than anything at that moment, I want so bad for it to not end in divorce for them. I want to see the numbers change, the odds beat and lives go unwrecked.

This week, in reading Matthew, I completely missed what God was saying about divorce. I think that since I have put to rest my own feelings about my parent's divorce, and since I would rather remain single for life than to marry with the faintest chance that it could end so bitterly, I just don't think about divorce too often. But a friend of mine was hit hard when the discussion turned towards divorce, and someone commented to him that she didn't even see the relevance of talking about it, if as Christians, we all weren't planning on ever getting divorced. Little did this sweet, but peppermint footed, girl know, but my friend's parent's, like my own, had been divorced. And now, he is facing the remarriage of one of his parent's - these verses have huge application in his life right now.

Why is this so relevant to him, to me, to anyone really? Because besides the fact that anyone who divorces their spouse, without adultery for a cause, in effect committs adultery and, in Jesus's words, makes her commit adultery, the Bible goes on to say that whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery as well.

That's huge. And right now, I know that is huge on the mind of someone I care for, deeply, as a friend. Divorce has huge implications, and huge impact, and huge consequences. And even for someone as decidedly far from relationships as me, the significance of it isn't lost. It pains me, the cynical romantic that I am, to think that hurt is caused to so many people through decisions that our culture sees as a normal, albeit, sometimes easy, way out. In my own idealism and naivety, I just wish that every marriage could work out beautifully and poetically and honorably.

I don't want to write this, and then leave someone hanging, who has questions about divorce. Nor do I want someone who has gone through that painful process to read this and walk away feeling condemned, misunderstood or hopeless. Our God is a good God, and He has grace and mercy for those who turn to Him. Know that to be true, and trust in Him. And I am in no way judging anyone who has divorced a spouse, I have been through my own parent's situation and would never take that stand. So if you have questions, or comments, please let me know. For the sake of brevity, I am going to cut this short, having made my point at how impacted I have been by both the beauty of marriage this week and the tragedy of it's demise.

Here's counting down to V-Day. Only 12 more days people. :-)

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