Happy Birthday To You.... Whoever You Are.

Have you ever been out at a store, and seen something, and just known it was PERFECT for someone, and you had to get it, because eventually it was gonna be their birthday, and you could have an excuse to give it to them?


That was me last night, at Barnes & Noble. I'm there to pick up a book about quilting, so I can actually try and be good at it, and as I'm walking to the check out, a book caught my eye. As soon as I saw the title, I just knew it was for this one specific person. And so I bought it, because, like I said, eventually they'll have a birthday, and I'll have an excuse to just give it to them.


Now, I'm not in favor of holding off on gift giving. Heck, I'm all for gift giving year round. We don't need to wait for Christmas or Birthdays to show people we're thinking about them, or to bless them. But sometimes, as in this case, it might be a little awkward to give someone something out of the blue, so a birthday's as good as an excuse as any. And not that I buy into this load of Christianese, but if I had to say what my "Love Language" is (the one I give, not receive) it's gifts. I LOVE getting gifts for people (btw, receiving.... it's touch. Definitely touch). Finding presents that are picture-perfect for my friends and that are representations of their personality brings me great enjoyment. It doesn't have to be big, sometimes it's as little as a card, or a magnet. It really IS the thought that counts.


So this morning when I woke up, and I looked inside my Barnes & Noble bag to pull out my new quilting book, I saw the book, and I inscribed the first page with a little note that conveys the message of "I thought this book was PERFECT for you.". That way if I get hit by a bus and die today, I'll know there's a good chance that this person will get their birthday present, albeit a little early. And that brings me great joy. Well, not the getting hit by a bus and dying part, but you know what I mean.


So, my challenge to you all today is this - think about the last time you just showed someone they are your friend and/or mean something to you, in a way that is out of the ordinary and meaningful. I'm not talking the rudimentary, compulsory pat on the shoulder and "Hey honey, I'm thankful for you" affirmation. I'm talking really thinking about how we show the people around us that we're truly thankful they're in our lives. Think about the last time someone told or showed you that you're special to them, and then remember how it made you feel. I may sound like the Happy Hippie here, but wouldn't the world be a nicer place to live if we all did that for each other a little more often? I'm pretty sure hearing "hey, you're special" today would feel just like a birthday, and who doesn't like those?

Things To Be Thankful For

So, I lost my job today. I'd be lying if I said I didn't see it coming, though the time that I was allowed to view it as a pending possibility was very brief. Less than a week. There's a lot I could say about it, but frankly, it's still pretty fresh in my mind so I think discretion and a mouth as tight lipped as a bad clam is the best bet. All I know is this, I have a lot to be thankful for, and I'd be denying the truth if I tried to act surprised.

Sometimes, when God moves, we can see the dust cloud looming on the horizon, moving towards us like the Tazmanian Devil in some Bugs Bunny cartoon, zigzagging all over the place. Kicking up dirt, it gets closer, and closer, and all the while it's still undiscernable till boom it's right on us and SURPRISE! But whatever. Hey, He did lead with a cloud and a pillar of fire, it's not inconceivable, right?

I think this situation was like that, just a lot more subtle. Things have been churning in my heart after a conversation with a friend over a month ago about my passion for youth ministry. He got me thinking and praying about whether or not I should pursue it more, even if I pshawed it at the time. Then this past weekend, I was allowed the amazing privilege of a weekend at the beach, to hear from and be in prayer with other youth ministry workers. During that time I was able to sit on some rocks, jeans rolled up and feet in the water, bible and journal in hand. As I stared out at the rhythym of crashing waves, I lifted up thanks to my Lord for all He's done in my life, including allowing me a great, well paying job that gives me the freedom to spend my free time in youth ministry. Was I jumping the gun? Or was He seeing me as too comfortable? Or is it just a coincidence? Or the natural consequence of a crappy economy and faulty empires? One of the things I'm questioning today is deeper than "will I have to work at McDonalds?" - it's my previous blind adherence to strict Calvinism (because well, I'm a Baptist, I thought it's what we do). But more on that later.

So, after an amazing weekend spent on the beach, surrounded by passionate, fun, dedicated lovers of God, I came home questioning (in a big way) where my life is going, but more importantly, where I wanted it to go. What am I doing with my life? That was the question I asked on my Facebook status yesterday. Someone commented, more to the point, "What is God doing with your life?" and then reminded me that He's doing all the work. "Make sure you're bendable. it helps with the pain. trust me ♥", she wrote. Ahh, B, my little prophetess friend, your words are so timely right now!

So, now recently thrust into the swarming masses of the recently unemployed, I can really sit back and say "God, You can do anything with my life right now." I'm soon to be out of a place to live, now out of a job, but completely wide open to whatever He wants to do. It's freaking humbling people! Humiliating versing humbling is gonna have to be another post for another time, but trust me, it feels a whole lotta both right now. Yet, I really do have a lot to be thankful for. I can actually go to the gym without waking up at 5:20 to do it. For a while at least. I can enjoy the springtime from something other than a windowless cubicle under flourescent lighting. I can go to playgroup and spend time with all my favorite kids. I can see God grow my faith, my trust and my dependance upon Him as I look for a job. I can come back to the rememberance that my life isn't 40 hours a week at a corporation, it's how open I can be to letting God use me in the lives of others around me, to show off His glory, goodness and love. It's being open to His great big, or great little, plan for my life, and revelling in the unexpectedness of it.

This afternoon, as I head to lunch with Josh (something else to be thankful for!) I feel like I'm standing on a cracked, parched desert floor. The Lord has just swept by me, in a cloud of dust, but I think I see Him turning around and coming back this way. He's never too far away. I hope that when He passes by again, I can just grab ahold and hang on tight. I have a feeling it's gonna be a wild ride.

Three Beautiful Things

So, there seems to be a theme, of gratitude, or expressing it to others, that I've noticed lately. I think it's sweet, if not a little overdone. But like an overdone steak, even when it's not so good, it's still pretty good. Or wait, is that pizza?

In any case, I was reminded of a tradition that some friends of mine have. Every night before they go to sleep, they tell each other two things they're grateful for, about one another. They're married by the way. It's kind of sweet, but it would be challenging. Living with someone day to day, amidst the monotony of married life, how would you think of something new every day? Your eyes would have to be wide open, and shielded by the grace of God (i.e. rose colored glasses) to value someone enough to find two things every day.

Thus says the cynical single girl!

Then I ran across this blog, Three Beautiful Things, and I saw that someone has made a habit out of doing this on a regular basis too. His tagline reads "Every day I want to record three things that have given me pleasure". And when he says every day, you can see that consistantly he blogs with TBT's - every day.

It made me think of Romans, in chapter 1, at the onset where Paul begins his argument for the wretched state of mankind. He leads into his diatribe about man turning his back on God by stating that they failed to give God thanks. He says "For although they knew God", they being mankind, as seen in verse 18, "they neither glorified him as God, nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened".

Really? Is ingratitude, a failure to thank God, the beginning of futility and foolishness? The Bible says it is, though in my American, overly entitled, self serving attitude it seems so unplausable. Reality baby, reality! It's the stepping stone to a foolish heart and a futile life. All it takes is a simple "Thank you God for ..." He gives us the antithesis to such a mistake, in Hebrews 12:28. In that verse God even throws in a freebie - "Since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe."

Wow. That's all I can say to that. Wow. So tonight, I want to be grateful. What am I thankful for? For TBT's. Three Beautiful Things.

1. Lessons learned about the wonderful Lord and the grace that I know He's going to have to patiently teach them to me over & over again.

2. A really comfy bed, and the possibility that it might rain by the time I fall asleep so I can lie in this really nice, fluffy bed, and listen to the sound of the raindrops tap-tap-tapping on the roof outside.

3. Great fellowship, with a small group that I love, and that loves me, and that loves the Lord and thanks Him together.

So now I ask this... what are your TBT's??

A Motherly Dilemna

Ok, so Mother's Day is coming up, and there are a lot of mothers, even besides my own, who I want to celebrate this year. So, in the spirit of scrapbooking and music, two of my favorite things, I decided to put together a CD with songs about mom on it, and then put it in this adorable photo book which I did a Make & Take for at Archivers. I am so excited to share this with my own mom, as well as those mothers I love and respect (Peggy, Michelle, Katie, Karen, you guys are awesome!)

But here's my dilemna - what songs about "mom" do I put on there? All the ones with the good lyrics, like acknowledging a mother's influence are old-time-hokey-country songs, and all the cool ones, with a decent sound to them are about how someone's mother drove them to the point of insanity (those brothers from Oasis are really messed up!).

In any case, here is the playlist I have so far. I can only think of one person who reads this blog (I love you K-girl!!), but in case anyone else does, I'm very open for suggestions: (Oh, P.S., yeah some of the artists listed there aren't the original recording artist for that song, it just so happens I like their version a little better)

Loves me like a rock – Paul Simon (might use the Allison Krauss version)

Someone to watch over me – Frank Sinatra

Stacys Mom – Fountains Of Wayne

Calling my Children Home – Emmylou Harris

Don’t Step on Mother’s Roses – Johnny Cash

Anita's Heart - Fernando Ortega

When Mama Prayed – Randy Travis

Your Heart Will Lead You Home – Kenny Loggins

In My Daughter's Eyes - Martina McBride

A Song For Mama – Boyz II Mama

Heart Of The House – Alanis Morrissette

Shower The People – James Taylor

I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing – Aerosmith

God Only Knows – The Beach Boys

Maybe I’m Amazed – Jem

She Believes In Me – Jarod Mason

Sweet Child O’ Mine – Sheryl Crow

You Are The Sunshine Of My Life – Stevie Wonder

Thank You – Dido

Secret Garden – Bruce Springsteen (really, what woman does this song not apply to?)

Lullaby - The Dixie Chicks

This One's For The Girls - Martina McBride

So, any and all input is appreciated! Maybe once I get this playlist all sweet and together, I can post it on here, wouldn't that be a nice treat for mom's everywhere.

How Fun Was My Easter?

I don't know, but by the looks of it, pretty darn fun. You tell me.

Something Bigger Than Me

I must admit, I am a selfish being. As I am walking through a time of discipline, trials and pain, all I can focus on is me. I feel like I am in the midst of a forest, barefoot, stepping on thorns and bristles, tired, alone, hungry. Somewhere there is a light and I can discern the forest from the trees.

Even when I am taking these things to God, and praying, or in the Word, my mind comes back to all these little lies, about myself, and I lose focus on what's really big, and what, in my mind is just grandiose. I want to forget myself, and remember, again, that there is something so much bigger than me. The God who loves me. Please God, help me to see You more and me less!

Something that encouraged me in this challenge today, was the story of Anne Frank and her beautiful chestnut tree. Anne Frank was just a young girl, when her family was forced into hiding, from the Nazi's. She was still a young woman when she died of typhus in a concentration camp. Yet, her diary, and her life have inspired countless numbers of people, myself included. Her optimism, as seen through her poignant writings, is positively inspirational.

In her time spent hiding in a musty old attic, Anne drew inspiration and comfort from a chestnut tree that was just visible outside her window. It's presence gave her hope and solace, as she expressed when she said

"Nearly every morning I go to the attic to blow the stuffy air out of my lungs, from my favorite spot on the floor I look up at the blue sky and the bare chestnut tree, on whose branches little raindrops shine, appearing like silver, and at the seagulls and other birds as they glide on the wind. As long as this exists, I thought, and I may live to see it, this sunshine, the cloudless skies, while this lasts I cannot be unhappy"

Anne's father, Otto Frank, upon reading his daughter's diary (aren't dads not supposed to do that?? I guess we'll make an exception in this case) was greatly surprised to learn how much the tree meant to Anne. In 1968 he delivered a speech where he said

"How could I have suspected that it meant so much to Anne to see a patch of blue sky, to observe the gulls during their flight and how important the chestnut tree was to her, as I recall that she never took an interest in nature. But she longed for it during that time when she felt like a caged bird. She only found consolation in thinking about nature."

This tree, which is still standing today, is said to be the oldest in Amsterdam, at over 150 years old. It remains as a sign of hope and as a memoriam to Anne, but not for long. This beautiful horse-chestnut tree is slated to be chopped down soon. Despite the city of Amsterdam's best efforts, the tree cannot be saved from a terminal fungus and moth that is devastating it's leaves.

Anne Frank was blessed with a spirit and outlook much more positive and generous than what I have wallowed into lately. Her diary was not full of selfish thoughts about her losses, due to her circumstances. Nor was it full of lies about the whole world hating her and being out to ostracize her - for Anne that was a reality!

Here I am, immensely blessed with friends who love me, people who support me, and a ton of trees and lakes outside that I can readily walk or bike to, in the freedom of a country that has not forced me into hiding. Most of all, I know personally and can worship the Creator of all these beautiful things. He has loved me, and promised to protect my life from those who would seek to take it. This God, in whom I can implicitly trust and who offers me much more solace than the views of nature, it is He who reminds me:

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith" Matthew 6:26-30

I am not unlike Anne this morning. I am sitting here in the study I am blessed to have, looking out at the bare branches of a tree outside my window. As I see the bright blue sky, streaked with just a wisp of a cloud, I am marveling that Spring weather is finally here This brings me such great joy and exuberance. I would not fully appreciate the beauty of Spring, however, were it not for the darkness and cold of winter.

So, as I go through a dark and cold time in my life, I want to, I must take hope that Spring may arrive as well. I pray that the God of four seasons would not leave me in winter long, but do what work He needs to do in my life in this time, and then bring me to a place where I can grow, and shoot up, like a lily of the field.

In the meantime, I have added my very own leaf, to the interactive tree that honors Anne Frank, and her beloved chestnut tree. If you get a chance, I would encourage you to as well. It is the sounds from that site that I am enjoying listening to this morning, artificial as they might be. Birds, bells, and a slight breeze. Our God is good!

One last quote "I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people. And therefore I am so grateful to God, for giving me this gift of writing, of expressing all that is in me!" Anne Frank, March 25, 1944