Sunday, April 27, 2008

Shameless Plug


There is no funnier show than the misguidedly canceled Arrested Development! I got hooked on this show about a year and a half ago, when a friend force fed me at least six episodes of season one, thereby hooking me like a baby mama on crack. Dear Lord I love this show! And since I'm in the middle of introducing another new friend to some of the best moments (Maggie Lizer, Bland, Sally Sitwell, Barry Zuckercorn, they're all their), I will keep this super brief.

Trust me on this one people - watch this show!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Relevance In A Faithless World ....

... aka There's A Kangaroo In My Kitchen, Can I Pray It Away?

So, I had dinner with some old friends the other day. These are friends who were there for me in a big way, during one of the hardest times of my life, and whom I hadn't seen since that time. I knew it was going to be a night of surprises, since we hadn't really "caught up" in about a year, but even I couldn't have prepared for the spiritual surprises that were in store for me that night.

You know, we did the same old "so what's new with you?" bit, and I talked about work and life, and guys (the non-existent love life), and they talked about finding jobs and married life (yeah, they're a married couple, and I still want to be friends with them). Then, we started talking about my apartment. Now, I used to love my apartment. USED TO. Till I got invaded by rodents of every shape, color and size. A slight exaggeration? Yeah, probably. But for a woman who's never had a pet rat, never lived on a farm, and is city-fied and civilized through and through, even a tiny, little brown mouse is the size of a pookah to me.

Well, as I was telling them that I was thinking about moving, closer to work, to somewhere where I don't share my living space with vermin, they got real serious, and asked me if I had ever prayed about the mice. I guess I hadn't. I don't know why, except that I thought, somewhere deep down inside, that God has better things to deal with (Darfur's orphans, Breast cancer, the salvation of billions of people, etc) than my little brown mice problem. So, halfheartedly, I shrugged off their suggestion, and went back to my apartment search conversation.

That's when Chris, the husband got quite serious, and looked at me in all earnestness and said "Trinette, don't you remember that man has been given authority, at creation, over all the animals?". I guess I hadn't remembered that, but yes, he was right. It is man's God-given right to rule the earth and that includes it's less than human inhabitants, from great big grey elephants (loyal as they are), to the little brown mice in my kitchen. So, right then and there, at one of the nicest restaurants in Minnetonka, we stopped and they grabbed my hands, and we prayed that the mice would leave, in the name and power and authority of Jesus Christ.

Now, for all y'all who might be thinking they're some sort of religious wacko-fanatics in chambray overalls and straw hats, ala a Mormon version of Fraulein Maria, you couldn't be more wrong. I mean, yeah, they are definitely what I, in my blinder wearing conservatism would call more Liberal, Charismatic Christians, but these two embody love and sincerity and loyalty in a way that most people take for granted in this sad, cynical, faithless world. And that, to me, makes them painfully relevant and authentic, all wacky faith-healing talk aside.

Anyway, as the evening progressed, and we talked about their faith, and my own life, and the shape my faith takes in it (so different than even a year ago), the subject of relevance in this world kept coming back to me. I was sharing with them that, after a long hard struggle to find my place and my "mission field", I felt that my job, my lovely little crazy job, was exactly where God wanted me, and where I was so happy and content to be. I found my place in this world, and it's not glamorous, and it's not the picture of bible-thumping evangelism that a lot of people I know identify with, but it's where I am supposed to be, and I can see the blessings and the fruit of that in ways that gladden and warm my heart.

Relevance, however, seemed to be the theme, because as we talked about faith, and about my place in a secular job, versus ministry, I kept thinking back to the idea of light, and being a light to those around me. How can I not shine so brightly that I blind and wound those I surround, while still shining sweetly and brightly enough to illuminate and lead them? How can I be relevant in my workplace, showing God's love through my actions & faith to those I work with, without alienating them, or causing them to assume I'm a right-wing, name-it-and-claim-it Tammy Faye Baker wannabe?


Well, my friends' answer was so much more radical than I could have imagined. In listening to it, I was reminded well and hard of how much time we had spent apart in the last year, and just how much each of us had grown and changed, in ways that made us different, even as we traveled on parallel lines.

Their answer to my question was an example, a story of a recent healing they had heard about: A group of people were at a restaurant eating, and talking about healing, and during the meal, according to the story, the Holy Spirit led one man to get up and walk over to another table and lay hands on a woman, and spontaneously heal her illness (severe Carpal Tunnel, if I remember right), without even knowing the person he was healing. The same man then came back to the table and spoke to the waitress (whom he had not really conversed with before this time), words about her relationship with her mom, to which the waitress cried and admitted that she had been having these problems with her mom and was grateful for the input. According to the story, lives were changed that night, because one person decided to listen to the voice of Holy Spirit leading them to do things that I thought were so out of the ordinary that I had to hide my incredulity at this story.

At first this story baffled me. This was not an answer to my question about relevance in this world, this was an example of exactly the kind of thing this world shys away from. Crazy, Healing Miracle Christians, who do things spontaneously and call it the Lord. But then, after a second or two, the sweet simplicity of it all started to coalesce, like a man walking towards me through the misty fog. The relevance, my friends gladly pointed out, was that lives were changed that night. Someone was physically healed, relationships were changed, what's more relevant to people's lives than that?

The rest of the night passed with me sitting slack-jawed, listening to them share more stories of healing, and crazy forward approaches that I would consider an encroachment of personal space, but that obviously God was using. After dinner & dessert we sat in the lobby, the three of us scrunched into a little sofa, praying together, and looking through a book of European Castles, talking about our dreams and desires. They shared their heart for bringing this kind of luminescent spotlight into more peoples lives, and I shared my heart for just making it through the day sometimes, amidst the weight of thinking about moving, guy troubles and a job that leaves me underpaid though emotionally satisfied. At the end of the night, as we were huddled in the lobby praying, Chris repeated his prayer for the mice in my apartment. I was kind of surprised that he remembered, and touched as well. We parted ways, and I was glad we'd spent the evening together, even if it left me with more questions than answers.

The next night, I came home from work, tired, and hungry, and I sat down to watch yet another episode of The West Wing, my most favoritest show ever in the history of television. Sitting there, in a TV/Take-out coma, I was startled back to attention by the sound of something the size of a kangaroo coming from my kitchen. I could hear it rustling, moving in a paper bag (that my dinner came in, which was on the counter). This was no little brown mouse we're talking about. This thing had weight, girth, sheer inhuman strength, to be making that kind of a ruckus. Not twenty feet away, I was flipping out. What the hell was it? What the hell was in my kitchen?? Not a mouse? Not a squirrel?? A kangaroo? Was it possible?

Freaking out, I reached for the closest, non-breakable item handy, a water bottle, and threw it in the kitchen, yelling "GO AWAAAAAAAAY", but nothing replied back but more rustling, movement and the sound of paper being shredded, the cabinets shaking. So, I reached onto the coffee table, being sure all other appendages were tucked securely underneath me, in case this thing decided to attack, and found a bottle of nail polish remover from the previous night's pedicure, and threw that into the kitchen, only to be greeted with more rustling and movement in the bag. After minutes of whining, curling up into the fetal position and rocking back and forth like a little autistic kid, I finally got up all my courage, and walked, slowly, towards the kitchen, banging on the walls as I went. Standing in the doorway, between living room and the Varmint's home, in my loudest, most authoritative voice ever, I prayed in the authority of Jesus Christ, and the blood He shed for my measly life, that this thing had to obey me, and get out of my kitchen right now, and never, ever, ever come back. Then I walked back to the living room, sat down, and pressed play, on with the West Wing we go.

I've not heard it since. A few days later, I saw my little housemate, the brown mouse, but he scurried away at the sight of me, and I was barely afraid. The kangaroo, however, has found somewhere else to live. And so have I. In two weeks I'll be moving closer to work, to Eden Prairie. Closer to work, close enough to ride my bike in every day. Close to my friend Amy & her adorable little son, and close to my friend's Josh & Krista, and close enough to work to have people over for bbq's on Friday night. I'm thrilled. It's a clean, big, brand spanking new house, of which I'll be taking the lower level. It's reportedly mouse free, and as I undertake the grueling task of packing, I hope to keep it that way.

Relevance, I've found, is a relative word. I'm still not quite sure how to accomplish it, but I know this, I have found more courage and authority in my standing in Christ, these last few weeks, then I ever imagined I had. I have realized that I can love the liberals, my darling, dearest, gung-ho Christian friends, and not have to subscribe to their views of how to be relevant through faith healing strangers at the mall. And I know that as I just try to be a good friend to those around me, loving on them, treating them like Christ treated me, praying for them daily, that the notion of relevance will fade into obscurity, being as unimportant and invisible as the kangaroo in my kitchen.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

So Long, Farewell, Auf Weidersehn, Well You Get The Picture

I just did it. I just sent the note I should've sent months ago. I just sent the note that said "We can't be friends, and you don't love me, so let's just say goodbye".

It seems to be a trend with me lately.

What am I doing, thinking, cutting out these relationships that don't feed or nurture or even love or support me? I said goodbye (and frankly good riddance) to a church that offered me no support or friendship or care, lately. And how liberating was that? A true breath of fresh air! And now I've said goodbye to him. To the UnChivalrous Ex.

I will miss him, I know. I will miss a lot of things about him, but sadly, I'll probably mostly miss the way he made me feel, that maybe someone out there liked me. Then again, who was I kidding? He kept reminding me lately that despite thinking I'm a real peach of a woman, he saw no future with me and that I wasn't the girl for him.

So why stay "friends" then? I have great friends. Friends who love me, and care about me, somehow manage to think I'm funny, see me for who I am and don't wish I was different, and don't remind me at every turn that I make them feel like they're walking on eggshells. Do I need to pretend in a friendship with someone who's holding me back? Does he need me to be his friend, as if he needed one more? I'm not like his friends - cool, funny, smart and worldly. I am all those things, but not in the way his friends are, so he doesn't need me.

Do I really think he'll miss me? I don't know. I doubt it. I mean, he's so far away, and we never see each other anyways. How can you miss someone you never see or interact with? How can you miss someone you never let in anyways?

I hope I didn't hurt him. That's the last thing I want. I really liked this guy. I went to bat for him. I defended him to friends, to coworkers, to my mom. I forgave him when he hurt my feelings and apologized to him (rather unhealthily) when I called him on his actions, and made him feel bad.

I'm a good woman. I might be naive, a little more Giselle from Enchanted than Giselle Bundchen. But I like me. And someone out there is bound to like me too. Probably some boring, balding, computer geek type who hasn't talked to a woman in over 6 months, but hey, I'm all for stepping stones. Just kidding.

I know I did the right thing. I want him to find happiness, but some old cliche about horses and water pops into my head when I say that. I want to find happiness, and even if dumping him was only an exercise in asserting proper boundaries and making good decisions for myself, that's good enough for me. And really, that's all I want. What's good enough for me.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

498 Reasons To Endorse Celibacy!

This is going to be one of those posts that showcases my randomness at its best. As I write it, I'm babysitting Ana & Josiah, my favorite 3 & 5 year old, and I can make that claim even after a whole weekend of being with them. Maybe I don't know as many 3 & 5 year olds as I thought.

In any case, I realized this morning that one of the fundamental sacrifices of parenthood is the ability to sleep in. Dear Lord, did I do that to my parents too, once upon a time? It wasn't even light out this morning when their icy little feet came and crawled in with me on the makeshift beanbag bed I had constructed in the basement. "Tooo eaaarrly....... must sleeeeep!" was all I could croak out, despite an unusually sore throat and stuffy head (maybe the reason I never get sick is I don't have kids to spread their germs on me like little Outbreak monkeys). Nevertheless, in bed, we all three crammed and in bed we stayed for a good five minutes, till their miniscule attention spans caused them to search for toys, mess with the TV and play "Pink Baby Puppies" on me. Literally. On me.

I love these kids though, and love them I should, since they remind me of the reasons why I don't have my own (the whole sleep factor being the primary one that comes to mind). We've had a fun weekend. An unusual weekend (well for me at least, being happy hour/nap/shopping free), but a fun one. We played every game you can think of under the sun, that involves princesses, pirates or Spiderman. We went & saw Horton Hears A Who - which was so suprisingly lovely and well done that I could go back and see it in the presence of adults and enjoy it all over again. We went to Har-Mar, the second most ghetto strip mall in the Twin Cities, to get LL Bean bags at 50% off, from their outlet, only to find them closed. Which, suprisingly enough, did not deter Josiah from sticking his hands through the security gate and yelling "Hey, is anyone in there? We need backpacks out here!" I was quite dissapointed about missing the last day of their sale, having lost my duffle bag recently, and now resorting to using a giant, blue, crinkly Ikea bag for an overnighter. The epitomy of class!

Ok, I'm back. I just had to mediate a fight over a $2 bill. This morning the plan consists of

1. Wishing I was back in my own bed, under the influence of Tylenol PM, Nyquil & some Baileys
2. Getting them to stop yelling at each other long enough to pick up toys, get dressed for church & out the door.
3. Me grabbing at Starbucks & making a last minute Trader Joe's run before church.
4. Slowing the car down to about 15MPH and letting them get out for church, before I go find a bar open at this hour. Shouldn't be hard to do in North Minneapolis.

Or something like that.

I should run. For now. In the meantime, I wholeheartedly recommend Horton HEars A Who & will have a glowing review of it in the near future. If I make it that far.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Update

So, I had warned before that blogging for me, at least right now, is taking a not-so-daily backseat. I'm saddened by that, since every morning I wake up and can think of at least 3 things to blog about that day. You always want what you can't have. But, since my main access to online life has been drastically cut back, I find that I'm not blogging as much, and that's, well, ok I think.

Except that now that I'm here, I can't think of a word to say.

Lots has been going on lately, including the death of yet another loved one, a guy who I was crrrrrazy about basically doing the whole "I think of you like a friend" thing, and a major faith crisis in which God, as always has shown infinite mercy, and grace and has gifted me with two new friends. All in all though, I'm doing really well, embracing the coolness of spring, wishing I was scrapbooking again and really into Chai Teas.

Random.

To steal a phrase from a friend "more better later" as I think I'm inspired to sit down & collect my thoughts before putting them here.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

A Long, Long Time

I'm sad and sorry to admit that I haven't been blogging much lately, but even saddier and sorrier to say I don't think it's going to change much. I am saddest and sorriest after the compliment so dearly paid to me by a friend recently that she loves my blog enough to think I should have my own newspaper column. Carrie Bradshaw aspirations dance like sugarplums in my head. Maybe if I could get on my blog during the week things would change. But for now, it might be a long, long time. Don't give up on me friends??

Monday, February 25, 2008

Things I Miss



The kiddos

The holidays

The warmth of sun melting, relaxing, soothing me

Sun Dresses & Sandals

BLT's

The sound of rain pitter-pattering on the rooftops outside my windows

The way my (used to be) long hair would spread out all around me on the white pillows, so much contrast of dark on light.
Jed

Late summer night walks along the Stone Arch bridge.

Beers on St. Anthony Main, Pracna's late night happy hour.

Kaya's chipmunk voice.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

That Which Does Not Kill Me Makes Me Even Crabbier!


I'm CRAAAABBY today. And I don't need a reason. I'm a woman.

I do have a reason, in any case, but I don't need to share it. I'm a woman, and if I want to be crabby, no one should insist that I have a reason why, much less question me on what it is.

My reason anyway? The worlds most killer migraine ever in a million and a half years ever on earth. Yeah, that'd do it.

Even things that usually make me smile can't touch this mood today. Like the BoDeans coming on the radio, and singing along (albeit quieter than normal). Or a Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Instead of these little things bringing me joy like they usually do, they're leading to some minor annoyances. Like having to repeat my drink order ten times to the Somalian girl behind the counter at Starbucks. "TRIPLE. VENTI. SIX PUMP. CINNAMON...no, Venti, not Grande. SIX PUMP. Yes, Triple, that's an extra shot. CINNAMON. DOLCE. LATTE. Yes, Cinnamon Dolce. Six pumps of it. Yes, an extra shot. No, skim!"

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

John Mayer can't even cheer me up today. Vince Vaughan holding a Chipotle burrito couldn't cheer me up right now. I'm reveling in the gloriousness poutiness of being crabby, and I don't care who knows it or what they think.

The thing is, nothing is really wrong circumstantially. Other than my head feels like a vice is wrapped around it, the light streaming in from the windows is burning my eyes out of my head like sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads and the sound of my fingers rhythmically hitting the keyboard sounds like a U-boat is dropping bombs in rapid succession in the underwater fog that is my brain today.

I'm not trying to be dramatic. I just seriously believe this might be the worst migraine I've ever had. Which, accompanied by the lightheaded and dizzy feeling I was experiencing earlier, either means I should lay off the A&W chili dogs at 10 at night, or go see a doctor. Probably a little bit of both.

What was I doing eating A&W chili dogs at 10 o'clock at night, you ask? You asked, trust me. YOU ASKED! Well, I went last night with a friend, shopping for shoes for the Winter Gala next weekend. And though I wasn't going to buy a dress, since I have a perfectly good one at home, I couldn't resist, and bought both shoes and a dress, all for under $50. C'mon, it was so worth it. The new dress is a very flattering shade of midnight blue, with subtle sparkly action and a halter style that was demure enough for me to feel comfortable standing in front of my coworkers and announcing who just won the $25 Olive Garden gift card. The shoes, well, they're adorable. Midnight blue matte satin, with a little bow and cute little jewely thingy, and well, you get the picture.

So, in my blinded excitement last night, I engaged in some much forbidden gluten consumption, specifically of the A&W variety. Including a Coney Island Cheese Dog (what can I say, I'm a weak, weak person) and cheese curds and a tall, cold Root Beer. It was so pleasurable, while it lasted.

This morning though, I woke up to the clamorous guffawing of a murder of crows outside my window. Yes, a murder of crows, which is apparently what a buttload of crows is officially called. As opposed to a sleuth of bears or a smack of jellyfish. Speaking of murder, the noise of their caw-cawing was enough to make me want to murder someone, therefore the etymology of that phrase makes perfect sense.

These crows are not strangers to my neighborhood. No, as a matter of fact about two years ago, at the time when Hope was putting together the portraits for their first Church Directory, the crows appeared. Coincidence? I think not.

At that time, there was such an overwhelming proliferation of these crows that not a car in the lot was safe. Babies were being pooped on (Isaiah E. I believe), it was totally out of control. The noise was deafening, the sight creepy and frightening, and there seemed no reasonable solution in sight. Short of a pastor with a shot-gun, which unfortunately did not work. Time passed and the birds moved on.
Two years later, they're back in my neighborhood, and in such overwhelming quantities that their Hitchcockian presence thoroughly freaked me out last night when I arrived home. Infesting about six trees on my block, they clutter together so thickly, and in such large numbers that even the barest of branches looks full-leaved and blossoming with their darkness. As one entire treeful took to flight, they blackened the skies like a dark cloud, blocking out the moonlight, and squawking, cawing and carrying on quite unnecessarily.

I hate them. Cawcaw, cawcaw.

In any case, this morning, roundabout 4 am (a little later than midnight dreary), I was roused from my sleep (weak and weary) like Poe to his door, by their boisterous calls, (not quite a whisper of "Lenore", more like a ginormous, group effort "CAWCAW CAWCAW"). To which I responded,

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!
'Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Or something like that.

That kind of rude awakening, coupled by the fact that I was bussing it this morning, was enough to put me in a foul mood, at least foul enough till the migraine set in, and then in fact, the mood became quite justified. And there I've been ever since.

Now, what's the flipside of all this birdbrain crabbiness? There is some light at the end of the tunnel. Light, thy name is Baileys. Tonight, I have a bottle of Baileys at home with my name on it. A spot on the sofa, with my name on it, and yes, a book, an engrossing book, with, you guessed it, my name on it. Well, sort of....it's more inside the cover, on an adorable leopard print bookplate, but you get the idea.

I am an optimistic person. Even when I'm crabby. And I can only hope that tomorrow, I will have accustomed myself to the cawing of my new neighbors, have shed all signs of a migraine with a good night's sleep, and be back to my normal, cheery, chipper, happy self.

Even if I'm not, I'm a woman. I can be crabby if I want to.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Things I'm Just Not Good At



About 6 months ago I wrote a lovely little post on why elephants submit, and why I just can’t seem to. In it I posted this gem of an ad, from the 1970’s, likening women like me (ummm, spirited?) to a foreign model Pinto lookalike. Niiiiice.

Today I’d like to post this other nostalgic bit from decades past, letting women know just how to act. That is if you're a moron, or a Stepford wife. Or a fundie. Oh, by the way.....the underlining, that was NOT me.


Upon review, I don’t think I’m getting this right. (Oh yeah, for a closer look, just click on the pic).

Monday, February 04, 2008

Why I hate Chinese food, fancy dresses & William Shatner!

I'm frustrated. I can't seem to figure out how to load, oh wait nevermind, oh no, ok, I can not seem to figure out how to load the pictures from my digital camera into my computer, so I can post them. Not that they're all that attractive or entertaining. They consist mostly of some awesome shots I got of Pikes Place Market this summer and my Friday night spent celebrating Leah's birthday over the most expensive martini ever known to man. And that's not a run on sentence, really.

The highlight of my weekend was definitely watching as my little sister from another mister celebrated her birthday in Fondue style, at the Melting Pot. Although I watched from afar, afar being another table (the fun table, as I saw it), I think she had a good time. I know I did. Even if I did spend my entertainment budget for the entire week on a Chocolate Funtini & some chocolate fondue. Yeah. The hilarious thing about the pictures is that one can document, quite clearly, my rapid descent from attractive and sober to quite unphotogenic & sporting a nice little sugar/alcohol buzz. As Kurt said, we were all going to die of a diabetic coma that night.

Instead of the probably peaceful diabetic coma, the low point of my weekend was food poisoning. Big, bad, old food poisoning of the Chinese take-out variety. We’re talking cold sweats, fever, nothing staying down or in, weird nightmares (always happens when I’m sick), cramps, aching, generally, wanting to die, and more importantly, wanting to kill an entire family of Chinese restaurant owners for daring to produce such crappy quality, vomit inducing, pardon the expression, shit.

Sorry.

I hate them though. These ignorant people who think they can charge up the wazoo for Chinese food that has no vegetables (therefore, in my opinion, little nutritional value), is disgusting tasting and makes people sick. I was more than disappointed, I was literally sick in both spirit (thoroughly disappointed) and health. And if I could’ve gone down there in person and told them what I really thought, trust me I would’ve. Maybe it’s God grace towards them that I’m car-less right now. No wonder the Asian sense of retribution and culture of vengeance is so strong and violent – with this kind of food poisoning it totally makes sense. (BTW, I’m reading a great book, by one of my favorite non-Asian writers who likes to write about China – Lisa See. It’s called Flower Net, and unlike her previous forays into the world of Chinese literature, this is a dramatic murder mystery set in Beijing & Los Angeles that is not at all girly or Amy Tan-like.)

I’m still angry about the FP though.

So, Sunday, instead of going to church and then participating in Super Bowl festivities as I planned, I spent the day curled up in a knot on my sofa, praying that the rabbit ears would hold out and/or watching the game in the mirror on the bathroom door, which reflects nicely into the living room, by the way. Everybody’s got to have a system.

Today I don’t feel that much better. I’m hungry, since I haven’t been able to keep any food in since Saturday night. But my stomach is literally in a knot. Tight, tense, cramped up like snail quickly retreating into its shell. The thought of food is both appealing and repulsive, at the same time. Interesting. I have often prayed for a miserable case of the flu, so I could drop 20 pounds in like a week, but now that I’m facing the closest I’ll ever get, I am kicking myself for it.

Indeed, if the food poisoning could just hold out till the Winter Gala on the 16th, I might actually be happy. I have pulled out my best cocktail dress from my closet, having decided I won’t buy a new dress, but I might splurge on new shoes and/or jewelry. That is if I can find EXACTLY what I want (high maintenance strikes again) – which is pictured nowhere but in my dreams, and is impractically turning out to be neither accessible nor affordable. I wish I could load a picture of this dress – it is very, well, very wow. Classy, demure, yet sexy, unique…..it’s so not me it’s hilarious, but I hope I can pull it off. Without spilling, without tripping, without snorting while I laugh, while somewhat resembling a lady.

It’s black, as are most good cocktail dresses. But this one is of the one-shoulder Grecian variety, with a little matte gold square ring (not an oxymoron), up at the shoulder for the fabric to drape through. It drapes down and has a tie around the waist, and a slightly flared out A-line, to the knee skirt. The picture of simplicity, you really have to be able to pull it off, since it basically wears you, instead of the other way around. I’m nervous. There’s no way I’m going to feel confident in it. I’d like to be one of those women who can put on something this amazing and act like they were born in it, walking back straight, head high, smiling, laughing, chatting, not fixing, pulling, tugging, fidgeting, or shrinking because they’re shy & feel like they’ve been caught playing dress up in mummy’s finest and everyone knows they’re just faking.

Put me in a pair of jeans, ballet flats or flip flops & a zip-up hoodie (preferably cashmere) and I can do that act quite naturally. A dress of this magnitude, maybe with a little practice, but I’m still not quite sure.

Well, this is a lot of girly rambling, I admit. To my few male readers out there, and I know who you are, all two of you, I apologize! Thank you for your continued readership, and please bear with me as I ramble on about subjects such as these.

Now, I’m trying to think of something interesting and non-girly to write about, and I’m at a loss.

I’m back on a Dennis Leary kick, having also watched a lot of Rescue Me this weekend (Food Poisoning people. Food. Poisoning!). I had forgotten how entertaining I found his brand of Irish, I could give a rat’s ass kind of humor. Though the show is quite a different strain of Leary comedy, I still enjoy the little bit he injects in, and the shows writing in general, which I find smarter, actually, than his stand up. Watching this, and then coming in to find my 365-Day “1001 Places To See Before You Die” calendar documenting the finer points of James Joyce, Guinness Stout & Dublin in general have given me a wanderlust tic like you wouldn’t believe to see Ireland this summer.

It was my great hope to see Washington DC on Independence Day, with the BFF, who lives out there now. But I found out she won’t even be on that coast this summer (back in MN), and even if she was it is apparently “a swamp” in July. I’m not quite sure if that phrase refers to the abundance of tourists or the general humid climate.

With DC out of the question, my second choice, Boston came to mind, but was quickly overshadowed by Ireland. Rolling green pastures, quaint little pubs, flowing with beer and drinking and singing……..

…….WAIT! I can’t go to Ireland!! I can’t drink beer! Dang it!!!! Oh, man. I can’t believe that one is shot to hell too! I really wanted to go to Ireland, and see the sights and drink the sweet nectar of stout and sing endless strains of Danny Boy with ivory sweatered, kindly locals. But how can you go to Ireland and not drink beer?? It’s not just impossible, it’s positively unappealing.

Ok, back to the drawing board….Maybe Mexico? I hate Corona (weak pee in a bottle), so it could work.

In any case, I’m trying to figure out where I want to go for my birthday this year, and now that both DC & Ireland are out of the mix, I’m at a loss, though completely open to suggestions. Three years later, I can look back semi-fondly at my last birthday trip, to Chicago. Ahhh, yes. The Blues, and the blues. In more ways than one. That was the last birthday trip I took, and I think I’m about due. I don’t care who I go with or even really where we go, I just want to go celebrate my birthday in a city or locale I’ve never seen before. I want to use it as a lame excuse to travel!

For Christmas this year, I received a subscription to both National Geographic Traveler, and National Geographic Adventurer magazines. They are dangerous. Wanderlust dangerous. Wanderlust is a subject I need no acquainting with, nor encouragement for. I’m a born escapee. I crave nothing more than leaving present surroundings for the thrill and excitement and potential of the unknown. I want to travel. I want to roadtrip. I want to backpack. I want to go.

I am wired for it, and use it as my lame excuse and cover up for a huge fear of commitment to relationships.

In any case, I am shopping for a place to go this summer, and am enjoying the process almost as much as I’m sure I’ll enjoy the actual trip (though if I have to stare at William Shatner’s overbloated, aged face again on Priceline.com I’m going to spit on the computer monitor. Blame it on the FP). Domestic or international matter not to me (though price is always a factor). My only requirement is a complete lack of agenda, freedom to just wander and roam at will and at my own pace and someone fun, equally relaxed and enjoy the new place with. Someone equally fascinated by the concept of “slow travel”, as I am. Someone who does not feel the overwhelming need to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to see every sight, who is willing to venture off the beaten path and have adventures.

Speaking of adventures….what about Istanbul? Maybe Morocco…..hmmm……I’ll keep y’all posted. Till then, thanks for reading! TK

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

TBT's

Three Beautiful Things:

1. The bass line in With Or Without You (by U2)

2. The way Ana asked me the other day "Aunt Twinette, do you want to play Ticket To Wide?"

3. The text message last night that said "....wanted you to know I'm thinking of you today". Urr!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

My Inner Dork




My inner dork....

.....loves to do puzzles
......does the pumping fist in the air motion while saying "Yeeessss!"
....snorts when she laughs
.....is a closet Terminator fan
.....can be a little gassy, when she thinks no one is around
.....doesn't know half as many movie lines as she pretends to
.....listens to James Taylor & rues the day he & Carly Simon ever seperated
....wore Elvis Costello glasses all through Junior High School. And thought they were cool.
.......practices good penmanship
......breaks everything she touches
........drops everything she eats on herself
.......cries at Hallmark commercials & the theme to Oklahoma
.....would rather stay home most nights, with a book, then hit the bars/clubs/downtown scene
......gets really stinkin' tipsy after just two drinks
.....sings to herself all the time
....is worried she's such a nerd people will see right through the facade and not like her. Oh well.

Monday, January 28, 2008

RIP Sean Preston (the car, not the kid)


I'm mourning my last car - Sean Preston. It took it's last breath Thursday morning, in the -15 degree cold, as I was on my way to work, driving down 35W South. The death throes were the speedometer whizzing back and forth (really, I know I wasn't doing 90), and the clanging that was something more than the permanent injury of it's muffler. In it's last moment, these telltale signs gave me warning that it was about to pass on to better pastures than the frigid cold of Minneapolis traffic. I was saddened and scared all at once. Thankfully we made it to an offramp and it spent it's last minutes on the corner of 46th & the Frontage Road along the highway.

In the wake of Sean Preston's shortlived life (I only got it back in October/November), I am trying to find the best way to handle it's clean & tidy disposal. And the only thing I have to say about that is: I'm a girly girl. I shouldn't have to be doing this. I'm a girly girl - I HATE doing this.

Sometimes the Lord stretches us in ways we can appreciate. We see the growth, we are happy. Other times, He puts challenges in our paths that serve as lessons, and they just suck. They go against our nature as human beings and cause us to do things we didn't know possible. This is one of those times for me.

I know I should be proud of myself when I do things I didn't think I'd be able to handle. Stuff that, under traditional gender roles, would be considered a "man's job". Like fixing things, or car stuff. But I can't help but thinking that I shouldn't have to do them. That's what guys are for. Look, I know this is wrong, but there is a really, really girly part of me that wants to scream that out, right or wrong or in between. In any case, there are no men in my life, so I have to do these things for myself, whether I like it or not. Lesson learned Lord - You will not give me more than I can handle, personally, and You will equip me to do whatever it is You are asking. Whether I like it or not.

So, this weekend, I made some phone calls, and was able to find someone to pronounce the final rites. Yep, it's heart gave out. It's very heart - the motor, just died out on me. Fortunately, it wasn't in any pain (save the humiliation of a missing bumper, almost like a hole in the back of your pants). Ok, good job Trin - you made the calls & got the prognosis, now what?

Well, unlike the tradition of the Griswold family, I can't just leave my car on the front porch, like Aunt Edna, curlers sticking out from under a blanket. So, I made even more phone calls, to see if someone could come tow it, and at least give me some of the money I've invested into poor little Sean Preston. Yeah, what a joke. Here's where things get hairy, and if I had a boyfriend/husband/brother/father, they would be handling this instead of me. Because the thing is, sometimes mechanic guys can be just rude. They hear a woman on the other end, and instead of dealing with her patiently and with detail, they snap off their information as if you're supposed to know just what they're referring to. Who knows, maybe they do this to other men too, but for all I know, it's just us weaker sexed individuals that they seem to pick on.

All this to say, that a few hours, a few phone calls and a few tears later, I have found someone to come pick up the last remains of my car. In about 12 hours I will be officially carless again. Which, I don't mind so much, really (except when it comes time to go grocery shopping, which is near impossible on a bicycle).

May you rest in peace Sean Preston. You were good while you lasted.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Last Straw

I'm not sure I can do this much longer. I woke up this morning to more poop and puke. And a cat who I caught redhandded peeing in my favorite bra. My favorite one. After I briefly contemplated murder, and started my third load of laundry since Sunday, I threw myself down on my bed, face down in my cat hair covered pillow (ew.), and cried. I don't know what to do. Short of the murder option. Anyone want a cat??