Heck, I'd Date Me

I don't know what inspired that title, today, other than an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and satisfaction and confidence, inspired by my most recent Home Depot outing. Seriously, by the time I left there, a huge grin on my face, my plywood purchase and Cherry Coke in hand, I was postively walking on sunshine.



Could it be the fact that it's a beautiful day outside? Or, that, compared to yesterday's Murphy's-Law-mishaps, today is going relatively smooth? Could it be that I feel very polished today, in my favorite pink turtleneck (yes, I really DID say pink turtleneck!)? Or maybe the fact that my wit was in high form, as I flirted this morning, with the cutie-pie IT guy I'm maybe sort of thinking is kind of neat, a little bit, or something like that, maybe? I don't know....maybe it's the fact that, as the condescending old man at Home Depot gave me crap regarding the beams I was having him cut, I knew exactly what I wanted, and could communicate it to him succinctly, much to his bafflement (you mean, women really DO know about wood? Oh, I know wood!)

It could be a million different little things, but today, I feel great. For the first time in about two weeks, I'm not sporting a giant migraine (no wheat yesterday has a LOT to do with that). I really do think a lot of it has to do with the great weather, but no matter, I am almost bi-polar in how happy I am today. Seriously. And with that kind of walking-on-clouds feeling comes a great sense of confidence.

That confidence enables me to say, today, that really, I think I like me. I can do all kinds of stuff around the house. I know my way around both a Home Depot, and Bloomingdales. I smell good. I'm cute (not gorgeous mind you, I'll never be gorgeous, but I'm cute, and cute is good, I think. Phoebe Cates is cute.). I'm hilariously funny, if you think that spilling stuff on yourself is funny (it's a whole kind of physical humor, go watch some I Love Lucy, and get back to me). I'm remarkably intelligent, can cook up a great meal, mix up a strong drink, tell you anything about the Revolutionary War, Whiskey, Cigars or French Literature. I will kick your ass in Scrabble, but let you win Risk. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I like me, and the way I'm feeling today - Heck, I'd date me.

The Kind Of Day It's Been

I am about to complain - big time. So, this is my disclosure. If you don't want to hear it, go read something else. Otherwise, this is the kind of day I'm having!


So, my day got started off on the wrong foot this morning, when someone called my cell phone at 5:30 am inquiring about the desk I'm selling. You've got to be kidding me, was all I could think when I finally hung up. What a retard, no offense to the actual retards out there.


(Sorry, I know I shouldn't say retard, but I just can't be that politically correct, no matter how hard I try. I'm not that girl. I'm the girl who quotes Dennis Leary to make my point "I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy that could sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs or the side order of gravy fries? I want high cholesterol. I would eat bacon and butter and buckets of cheese. Okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigars the size of Cincinnati in the nonsmoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I might suddenly feel the need to. Okay, pal?” Yeah, my thoughts exactly, so I apologize for saying retard now, and I apologize, in advance, for any future uses, of which there might be many, of the word retard).


Ok, back to my day - the 5:30 wake up call, yeah, that sucked. Then there's the fact that, for the second day in a row now, I have spilled an entire Venti Cinnamon Dolce latte on myself. I have really shallow cupholders. Really shallow. Like, if you're using them to hold a coaster, maybe they're deep enough, other than that, they seem to be very oddly shaped. And, lazy bum that I am, I just can't get myself to grab one of my twenty-seven no spill, commuter mugs on the way out the door. So, yesterday, as I was taking a corner, at like 60, my entire cup of coffee tipped over, the lid popped off and it soaked my pants in yummy cinnamony goodness. Causing me to cuss. Like a sailor. At least my car smells really good now.


But then this morning, the same thing happened. At that point, I couldn't even be frustrated, the irony was too much to get mad at. I just laughed. "Really? Really Starbucks? Really?" was all I could think. There was no way I was going to just write this one off, either, which is what I did yesterday. Uh-uh, that'd be like what, at least $9 down the drain. So, after I wiped most of the latte out of the cuffs of my cute black pants, I decided to hit the Starbucks here in Eden Prairie, on the way in to work, and get a replacement.

The good news is that they replaced it, fast and free. The bad news is that some snooty, entitlement-issues, Kenneth Cole purse swinging blonde Dobby lookalike gave me grief for what she called "cutting in line". I was in no mood to deal with it! There I stood, as she tossed her perfect little blonde, bobbed blow-out at me, and with her face that could make a baby cry she muttered something about waiting my turn, under her breath. Oh, if she only knew.


It kind of got me to thinking - I will never look like the typical Minnesotan. I know this, as I observe the hordes of blonde, perky nosed Scandahoovians I'm surrounded by, both in downtown and here in Eden Prairie. At least in L.A. there was enough diversity that I could pass for most anything - Armenian, Mexican, Italian, Persian, whatever. The irony is that I passed for all those things, but no one would ever have guessed at the German/Spanish (like from SPAIN, not Mexico, those are Mexicans)/Portugese that I really am. I could always blend into the melting pot of California culture, and never felt that my ethnic looks were counted against me, or somehow made me inferior or unattractive. Till I moved to Minnesota, and realized I look like everyone's maid or nanny. Seriously. I was out with the Cuolon kids at Target one day, and realized that I looked like I was the help, out doing the shopping for the Missus. Yikes!


Anyways, I digress. That's just the grumpy mood I'm in today. Back to my coffee - or at this point what's left of it. So, I get to work, and as I'm walking up the stairs, 5 minutes late, I run into B., the cute Tech Services supervisor that I want to be flirting with a little more. And what do I do? I trip on my pants as the heel of my shoe catches in the cuff of my pants. Causing me to spill my coffee, again. Not the whole thing this time, but enough to splash my chest (big surprise), and look pretty stupid, and for him to notice and ask me if I was ok, and for me to blush.




From there on out, the day kind of improved, except for dealing with another grumpy co-worker, who gets on my nerves anyways. Every single day she looks like an unmade bed. I don't know why it bothers me, but for some reason, today it did.

The highlight of my day, and enough to redeem most all of this - I got to talk to Kaya, who had her first day of preschool today. Yeah, she learned about the letter N. I got to hear all about it. She is so precious, and I know she will excel, both in intelligence and charm, in her scholastic career.

As for the rest of my day - it's not over yet. There's some Rangpur with my name on it, in my freezer at home, and I'm just digging into East Of Eden by Steinbeck. I have plenty to keep me busy, with taping and painting my room and kitchen cabinets. And right now, I'm just venting. I feel okay with that. Tomorrow is a new day, it's a holiday and as the song goes "Bet your bottom dollar, that tomorrow, there'll be sun".

Ten Things I Love Right Now

1. Boston winning the World Series




2. The Taj Mahal - My bookends, sculpted in miniature chalky white, are only a shadow of the beauty and mystery of the creation that I dream of seeing for myself someday.




3. Domino Magazine - quirky, hip decorating/shopping magazine. Need I say more?




4. Clive Owen - Tall. Dark. Handsome. Brittish. Ooooh.




5. Knocked Up - Yes, I know, the language, the birthing vaginal shots....but the heart, the fact that she stuck to doing the right thing, the laughs, the "Doc Brown" and his DeLorian scene. Come on!!




6. Wes Anderson - Genius man. Can't wait to see The Darjeeling Limited....anyone interested in going with?




7. English Bulldog puppies. I want one. I'll name him Ivan.




8. The heavy, pleased, accomplished sleep I got this weekend after refinishing the bedroom set I got for FREE on Craigslist.




9. Rangpur & Tonic - my new drink of choice. So smooth!

10. Gellato - Proof that Italians do do everything just a little better.

TBT's for October 26th

Today's Three Beautiful Things:




The thought of new life being brought into this world, soon. By people I love. AJ/Lindsay, Pat/Amy Lee



My adorable new red tartan ballet flats



The truth that God's love for me today, is unchanged. Same as it was yesterday, same as it will be tomorrow, and same as when He wrote this:
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful.
Jeremiah 31:3-4

The Joy I Get

I am full of joy today - we got Dilly Bars at work today for October birthdays. It is gorgeous, cool & crisp outside. I love my hair (switched to a new shampoo which smells amazing, and leaves it so silky straight and soft). I am listening to Snow Patrol sing of someplace cold & caked with snow, a secret place. I am wearing my favorite new sweater from Express (after discovering how much I love it in charcoal grey the other day, I went back and got it in espresso brown, which I'm wearing today). Really, it doesn't take much to please me.

But two things I'm most excited about today are this - I have Halloween plans and pre-Halloween plans. My Halloween plans are simple, but thrilling. I get to hang out with my friend Amy Lee, and she's making Ratatouille, and I'm making Tarte Tatin, and we'll drink sparkling apple cider and pass out candy. Nothing special except it's two dorky women and a baby (she's preggers) hanging out, thrilling little trick-or-treatin' kiddos, and making French Food.

What really brings me joy, though, is this: Saturday I get to spend time with my two favorite people under three feet tall. Ana & Josiah. This post is basically going to be about how cute and wonderful they are, and all the fun things I have planned for us to do Saturday afternoon.

First of all let me say, they are an idiosyncratic little bunch. Ana has fallen into the habit of calling me Mary Poppins. I love it! Whenever I go over to visit, it seems, she's down in the basement, hanging out. And when she hears my voice, I can hear her start to yell, sing-song like, "Aunt Trinette, Aunt Trinette" as she pitter-pats her way up the stairs. But as soon as she reaches the top, and I sweep her up for a hug & a (usually slobbery) kiss, she's all "Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins". It's pretty hilarious.

The last time I spent quality time with them, Josiah repeatedly told me "Aunt Trinette, do you know why I love you? Because you like to have dance parties", or "Aunt Trinette, do you know why I love you? Because you like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, just like me" Imagine if life and love were really that easy. I could go up to any man I might like and be like "Hey, So-and-So, do you know why I love you?" (Whoah, newsflash, I didn't even know you did love me!), "Because you like to watch Entourage, just like me", or "Hey, So-and-So, do you know why I love you? Because you like Honeycrisp apples, just like me". Wow, simplicity!

Anyways, we always have fun together, the three of us little dance partyin' maniacs. And this Saturday should be no exception, well, except I'm kind of getting tired to listening to the Robots soundtrack or Faith Baptist's Christmas program cd. So, I will probably be bringing some music of my own for us to jam to in our pirate costumes and princess accessories.

I also have planned some fun little pumpkin activities, like carving, roasting the seeds and maybe even making some marshmallow treats topped with orange & black candies or something spooky-festive like that. I can just see the mess that will ensue, and so I must be sure to spread out newspaper over the mess that may already exist. The mess is half the fun though, and who, if not an indulgent aunt, better to let them make a mess? Or let them play with knives, for that fact? I mean, if we are going to be carving, we better do it the right way, and really, they're old enough to learn (well, maybe not Ana, but she'll survive, I did).

I did find some pictures, for our inspiration. Hopefully we can manage to make something slightly resembling jack-o-lanterns, all artistic, Martha Stewart ambitions aside. The main thing is, we're going to have so much fun, and spend time together, making memories and being family. Really, that brings me the most joy of all.

United Way News

So, at work, yes my new job in the wild, wacky world of accounting, I have been put in charge of our United Way giving campaign, and organizing the week long festivities that will spur our employees to empty their pockets to benefit a good cause (homeless kids and stuff like that).

If you ask me, I'd give that week's pay just for them to change that horrible spokeswoman on their radio spots.

"Meeee, yoooou, Rrrrred, Bluuuuue, Paackerssss Faaaannnnn, Vikingssss Faaaaan, Caaat Perssson, Doooooog persssooon"

Dear lord, it's like she's about to do the microphone. She literally makes me sick. I can't think of any voice I've been more irritated by in the last ten years. WHAT exactly is her appeal? And how the heck did she get a job in radio broadcasting? She put the "broad" back in broadcasting!!!

Anyways, I digress. So, as I've been organizing our committee on United Way fun, I've had to come up with various activities for both fun & fundraising. So far I have an "Elk Lodge" style pancake breakfast, an ice cream social, a Chili cookoff, a Family Feud style game of Curses (if you've never played, it's a party game must!), three different dressing-up contests (one for each decade, the 50's, 60/70's & 80's), a Silent Auction, Executive Olympics (think that episode of The Office...Dunderball anyone?) and much more!

I'm pretty excited about leading the United Way giving campaign team, as this feeds right into my creative/artsy/fun side, which I was sincerely afraid could get lost in all this corporate accounting stuff. And, it takes me back to my Junior League days back in Pasadena, when we would always be racking our brains to think of new & interesting fundraising ideas. I just had to share the joy, and give the brief "new job" update simultaneously.

In the meantime, I believe we should start a petition, getting that *&$%# United Way woman off the radio. People could die in fiery car crashes because of her commercials, and to me, that's reason enough. It would be my greatest altruistic effort to date. Anyone with me?

A Total Waste

So, this is quite random, but every once in a while I feel like this, and today I'm just going to say it. I'm wearing a total waste of an outfit today. I mean, I look cute! Cute in that "I want to look like this every day" kind of way. Professional, yet still hip, and modest & coordinated (is it possible to be hip AND matchy-matchy? I mean, I think matchy-matchy & I think little old ladies from the South. So I say "coordinated" instead)


But what does it matter? Who's going to see it? It's a total waste of a cute day - there is no one to appreciate it. A total waste of an outfit.


Anyways, if you must know: long sleeved, scoop neck, charcoal grey merino wool sweater from Express, with a coordinating charcoal grey lace trim tank top underneath, visible only at the hem & neckline. An espresso brown box-pleated cotton sateen skirt, just above the knee with enough fullness to be very collegiate cute. Brown tights. Brown faux-alligator pointed toe T-stap pumps, a brown lacquered bangle, with gold trim, and matching oversized brown & gold beaded necklace with brown satin ribbon trim.


Don't ever say I'm not all about the details either!


So, I should take a picture, to send home to my mom and MawMaw. They always appreciate a good outfit - especially MawMaw. I think it's her years spent in the South & the Midwest that make her what I consider a true lady. Even when PawPaw was dying of cancer, her nails were always done, her hair done, her makeup done & her jewelry on. She is class. I miss her.


Speaking of ladies I miss - a little lady wrote me an email this morning. I got a message, a very random message, from Kaya Gracie. Here are some of the highlights:


Dear Trinette, I love you and miss you. You can be a princess. You can play hide and seek and Barbie's and you can play cards and marbles because that is fun. You can color and make hearts on pictures with me. You can even eat when you wake up! You can play, get married and read the Bible. Do you like to watch Nacho Libre with my
brothers? They like that one and I sing about stretchy pants. Sometimes I am silly and tooty! I miss you so much. You can be the manager of hide and seek. Now I have to go to bed so I will say goodbye and God loves you and good night. If you ever leave us, I will cry Trinette. You are my best friends! I love you so much!


Love, Kaya




and then later in the day, this....


Dear Trinette,

I got your letter and mom read it to me. When are you coming here? Did Lindsay's baby get out yet? I am glad I am in your picture and I have a picture in my scrapbook and you are in it too. I want a baby sister so bad! Well, maybe I will come to MN soon if I can come on a airplane. Or, Mom could put a stamp on me and mail me! So I have to go now and help mom with the laundry. But I am not going to say bye yet. You can draw hearts and cows and sheep or balloons with me and we can color. What do you want to eat for lunch? Soup? I am hungry! Okay...I love you.

Love, Kaya

P.S.Thank you for the letter you sent me. I like that and it is fun to get mail. We should sing songs every day! Howie's ear hurts so you should pray for him. Seth has ADD. I love and miss you. . .bye.

Reading these letters makes my heart fill with joy, and I must admit, I was laughing and crying at the same time. I am surprised by how touched I was by the words of this precious little 4 year old. She is such a little sister to me, and I am amazed by her sense of awe and wonder at the world and her sweet innocence. I guess these feelings of love and joy that well up in my heart may be something akin to actually loving on your own kids. But if that's the case, I don't know if my heart will be able to hold all that love. I literally overflow. Maybe it's PMS.


Ok, this is all I have to say for today. It's time to take my cute outfit and go color some cows & hearts & princesses. Or something like that.

No Kidding

So, read the post below, and then come back and read this. Ok?

So not more than two minutes after posting that observation, I opened the fortune cookie that I got with my Pei Wei lunch (more than half of which now lives on my new green sweater, thank you!), and it read:

"Patience Is A Key To Joy"

Ooooooooo-oooooo-ooooooo!!!!

An Observation

Fall weather is like sex. It's so much more appreciated when you've had to wait for it. Just an observation.

Gotta Be A World Record

So, three posts in a day. That’s gotta be a world record, right? I just, for some reason, have a lot to say today. Could it be the fact that I’m back to getting enough sleep, and feeling a lot better about it? Does that mean I’m quiet and untalkative when I’m tired? If so, I know a lot of people who like me better tired.

Anyways, the reason for this post is this: I am the proud new owner of a Barbershop chair. An antique barbershop chair nonetheless. It’s a 1910 Theo A. Koch barbershop chair, and it’s pretty sweet!

There’s a bit of a story behind it, so bear with me:

So, Saturday night I was at Jon & Michelle’s and I overheard an acquaintance telling Michelle about a shoe-shine chair that she’s restoring, and I thought with amusement “Isn’t she cool?”. That’s so unique/ambitious of her.

I mean, I kind of already thought she was pretty cool, based on the fact that she’s successful, brainy, and beautiful and from what I hear, every guy who grew up with her has had/still has a crush on her. She’s coolly unattainable, the kind of Grace Kelly type that I couldn’t be if I tried. Lucille Ball meets Sophia Loren, that’s more me. But patrician, regal Grace Kelly I’m not!

So, fast forward to today, as usual I’m tramping Craigslist for the laundry list of items that my friends have me scouting for, as well as for fun things for my apartment. And what do I find? Not a shoe-shine chair, better. A 1910 antique Theo A. Koch barbershop chair! With the original leather, nickel & porcelain. How cool is this? I mean, it’s not a shoe-shine chair, but neither am I trying to be someone I’m not.

So, of course, in my usual fast-fingered typing frenzy I emailed the owner and told her of my interest and next thing you know, we’re on the phone, making arrangements for me to move this 500 pound behemoth of an antique.

Take a look at the picture, pretty cool huh? I mean, this is going to look so cool in my apartment. Where, I don’t know, but it will. I just have visions of meeting this awesome, wonderfully romantic guy, and being able to learn to shave him with a straight edge, hot towels and a beaver bristle brush in my kitchen.. How nostalgic and romantic is that?

A new project (wait, with painting in my apartment, and replacing the floor in the kitchen left to do still, am I becoming one of those people who has 40 unfinished projects going at one time?? I hope so!) I am so excited!!

By The Way

Oh by the way, I'm taking applications for a shoulder rub. Yeah, that's right, YOU can give ME a shoulder rub. I've learned, the hard way, this week that when you go shopping every night at Target, and then carry your items home in your messenger bag, that sometimes your shoulder doesn't like it. So, as of last night, I have a knot the size of an egg in my right shoulder, and I'm grumpy, fussy and generally unhappy about it.

So, if you'd like to bless me by getting the knot out, I am taking applications. Ask Kari, I don't just let anyone touch me (ew!). So, I want references, and results from a recent physical showing you have no weird fungus's on your hands. All fingernails must be clean and trimmed. Anyone with a history of nose-picking is immediately disqualified (yeah, like I want THAT stuck in my hair).

Send all inquiries to trinetterkaiser@gmail.com

Miscellaneous (the word that won me the 4th grade Columbus Elementary Spelling Bee)

I'm really bad at computers. Dur. So, when I dropped the port to my wireless mouse this week, and then my mouse stopped working, I thought "Oh, I broke the mouse". So, last night, on my nightly downtown Target run (now that I've discovered there's a huge, two story Target, on the route of my bike ride home, I've made it a daily occurrence to just wander and shop......I'll quit soon, I promise), I bought a new mouse. And took it home, and plugged it in (while making bacon in the microwave. It was the world's best bacon too, thank you Trader Joes). And in the way everything seems to work in my life, it doesn't work either. Murphy's Law.

So, I pulled out my old "Corded" mouse, and plugged that in. It doesn't work either. Anyone have any suggestions? I'm frustrated. I can see the little cursor, right there in the middle of the screen, just taunting me with it's inactivity and refusal to move. The thing is, most everything can be done on my keyboard. Except Settlers online. I can't play Settlers without a mouse. And it's been three days now. I'm dying here people!

In other news, last night, on the way home, I ran into my arch-nemesis, in the bike lane on 9th. The ever-present, ever-obnoxious, ever-unforgiving Somalian taxi cab driver. I believe (based on my obsession with Heroes) that there is not just multiple Somalian taxi drivers in the Cities, but there is one, really mean, horrible one, and he has just cloned himself, or has the super-human ability to be in multiple places at one time.

Now, I don't mean to be a fuss on this, and I'm really not as filled with hatred as I sound. But I hate those guys. I have fallen off my bike twice now in an attempt to NOT get hit by them. They park in the bike lanes, and then have the audacity to pull out into traffic without looking, screaming and cursing in their native tongue at ME as they almost hit me.

Their driving skills are the worst I've ever seen. At least in Beijing there was a furied rush to the way the taxi drivers whipped through intersections and off of curbs. And to us American tourists, they were semi-apologetic and friendly. These guys though, they get mad at you when they almost hit you. Or as in the case of the one who did hit me on Lake Street a while back, they give you false insurance information as they stand there shouting erratically into their cell phones in their native tongue (which must be a genetic anomaly that only the males in their race have evolved to actually have their cell phones sprouted from their wrists, attached somehow to their ears. Interesting).

So, yeah, last night, I had hopefully what will be my last encounter with this rare breed of male donkey (I think that's called a jackass), on my bike. I'm sure it won't be my last encounter with them for the rest of time, but at least the last time on my bike. In my perfect world, they would all be reduced to having to pull rickshaws, instead of driving taxis. That would be more taxing on their bony little bodies, as well as putting them in the vulnerable position of being on a bike them self. A little bit of poetic justice.

And I say that with the utmost love. Really.

So, yeah, this weekend I'm getting a car. A sweet, pimped out ride. Rims that sparkle, shine and twirl. A sound system that will knock a man's pants off. Paint that shines one color at 6:00 am, another at noon, and yet another color at sunset. Or, as it's known to the rest of all y'all - Rachel's Parents' Car. Sweet!!! I can't wait. It may have wood on the top as a makeshift canoe rack (sweet!). Heck yeah, it may be a station wagon (make out car, here I come!). It may have no muffler whatsoever, thereby rendering me incapable of ever hearing the catcalls that shall come my way in my sweet new ride. But it will be mine! Mine all mine. And it will need a name.

So, in the spirit of needing a name for my new car, I have decided to post a poll. Please vote on what the name of my new car should be. Here's a little history on my previous cars' names:

The Grey Impala - "The S.S. Minnow"
The Green Cavalier - "Vanessa" (not my choice, thank you Nick).
The Blue Saturn - "Betsy" (yeah, pretty typical)

So, check out the poll on the sidebar, and let me know what my new digs shall be dubbed. And thanks again for your support.

Till later, Trin

Creative Genius

I have, yet again, stupyfied myself with the levels of genius (or desperation) I'm able to reach, in the quest for making my apartment cute & liveable.

So, it's like a daily occurence for me to browse Target.com. I don't have a car. I shop vicariously through browsing online. Every once in a while I'll actually buy something, but I'm like the Bridget Jones of shopping these days. Ain't much happenin' there.

If I wasn't so broke all the time, I would be indulging in those Rachel Ray saucepans that I admire so much, or that new Isaac Mizrahi red car coat. But, yeah, needless to say, my shopping right now is pretty much imaginary.

And if I'm going to be staking claim on some swampland in Imagination Town, why not go the full 9 yards, and register at Target.com for the things I really like? I mean, hey, it's also a great way to remember the things I see and would like to get. And maybe some day my mom will win the lottery, or my aunt Sharon will decide she needs to outfit my kitchen in all matching kiwi & espresso furnishings. Or maybe, (cough, cough, choke, laugh) someday I'll actually get married. In that case, this Target.com Registry is going to come in miiiiiiiighty handy!

In the meantime.....here is a link, if you're at all curious as to how I spend my day (I mean, besides working, and stalking Craigslist). Happy Browsing.......don't say I didn't have a good idea!

Fall Is Here - Kind Of

So, I wish we were having fall weather the way I like it. Cold, crisp, sunny, bright, blusterry & packed with crimson colored leaves everywhere. The kind where you can go apple or pumpkin picking, in Wellies, dark denim and cashmere sweaters. The kind where you can jump in a pile of leaves, or smell them burning (that's such a distinct smell). Instead we have weather that reminds me of the Pacific Northwest (minus the smell of pines, another distinct aroma I love). Which makes me nostalgic & full of longing.

Ahhhh, the whole day is making me melancholy. I want to go home and watch The Family Stone. I like that movie, trite as it may be, for many reasons. The presence of Dermot Mulroney AND Luke Wilson. The way it makes me long to live on the East Coast, in the posh-circular driveway-suburbia of Connecticutt. The fact that it's about family, and battle to fit into one. Or maybe it's because it's all about Christmas. A beautiful, white, family-packed, traditional (well somewhat!), yuppie Christmas. Ahhhh, how I long.

Maybe I'll watch Little Women too, while I'm at it. Sing the Wassail song for like a week afterwards, and crush on an early Christian Bale. Wish I had sisters, well more than one. I might even spend the evening talking kind of funny and proper.

On another note - I'm a bit let down today. I want to go to the Iron Fork competition on Thursday, and I have a friend with tickets, but not for me (now, I'll be singing "But Not For Me", a perfect song for a fall day like today). I mean, why would someone do this: "Hey, I have tickets for this cool thing, that I know you'd love, and I was going to ask you to it, but now I'm not because I'm taking someone else instead, who won't enjoy it near as much as you, but who I kind of owe an invite to". WHY? Come on people, what kind of manners are those? Now I'm dissapointed thinking about it today, because I really wanted to go, but I don't get to.

Anyways, maybe that night I'll crack open my own bottle of wine at home, and make those wild rice & cranberry stuffed pork loins hiding at the back of my freezer, and watch an old movie. I mean, in all honesty, that does sound kind of nice. It is perfect curl up on the sofa & watch an old movie weather. I do love fall!

(*Yaaaawn*)

I really don't have anything to say anymore. I don't know why I'm going through this dry spell of words. I'm sorry to those of you who derive some mild form of enjoyment from my posts.

Life is pretty boring. Not much to say.

Bear with me?

Go read someone elses' blog - I've listed some good ones to your right. But come back? Please?

Thanks, Trinette

P.S. Is it at all interesting that I'm all of a sudden liking Paul Simon's music? I find it kind of weird. I mean, I don't even own one piece of music by Paul Simon. But all of a sudden I find myself humming along to "...singing me & Julio down by the schoolyard...." or "....I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al....". What's that about anyways?

Happy To Be

Yeah, I don’t really have much to say. Nothing much is new. I’m working. Get up, iron, shower, get on my bike, and go to work. Work, eat lunch. Work some more. Come home. Make dinner, watch TV. Read, fall to sleep. Sleep restlessly. Get up & do it all over again.

Exciting. I know. I miss the days of not having much planned, so I could do anything. I’m not good at the whole “day in and day out” kind of thing. I like having a more flexible schedule so I can do wacky things in the middle of the day. Take off on a bike ride. Be spontaneous. Take naps. Ahhhh, pastry chef hours. They may have been early, but they were flexible.

Someone told me recently, in a brief moment of speaking truth into my life, with great insight, that I don’t seem like a very content person. I agree. I am a “grass is always greener” kind of gal. I don’t mean to be. I just, I’m restless. I have restless life syndrome. (Anyone who’s sat next to me in church lately knows I’m fidgety too, just a sidethought!)

What would it take for the Lord to make me content in my daily routine, and not always longing for something different? Could this character flaw possibly be because nothing in this life will ever really satisfy me, and deep down I know it? I want something more, but the life I want is not exactly realistic. Own a gluten free bakery, somewhere near the beach, in Oregon, and work only a few hours in the morning each day, and spend the rest of the day on the beach with kids and/or family/friends. Come on, that’s my dream – I can be as frivolous as I want!

So much has changed lately. I wouldn’t mind a bit of peace & quiet, I tell myself. Yet, when the peace and quiet come, as they have in the last week or so, with the disguise of routine, do I ever appreciate it as much as I think I will? I don’t think I do. I get wanderlust, I get restless and I want to do something different than what I’m doing. Urrr, is there no satisfying this crazy girl??

I think, the fact is – I am not a content person. That could be a sin, were it not for the fact that I don’t think I’m necessarily “discontent”. Does that make sense? It’s not that I don’t love what I have now. I just want something more than what I have right now. I want a loving, game playing family, a husband, babies, ministry, a dog, the beach, fall weather, new black boots, a car, a cream colored wool coat, world peace, twins, a horse, a puppy, Clive Owen…….oh snap, I think I was daydreaming.

What I mean to say is this – Is there a difference between being discontent (i.e., grumbly, grumpy, crabby), and being restless (i.e. not content with life where it’s at?). Is that lack of contentment at life’s present circumstances an inkling of the good things I long for, that I hope life brings me, and on a larger scale, a picture of the fact that I’m not made for this earth & never will be quite at home here? Or is it a sin that I’m just not facing, because it’s so ingrained in my personality?

I see a picture, here before me, on my desk, of a time when I was happy, really having a good time and content with my day’s agenda. There are many people in it – Kirstie, Kaya, the boys, Jon, Aidan (who I still feel really, really bad about biting this weekend. I wish I wasn’t such a biter!!). We are all smiling, because on that summer day we were all driving up north, with not much of a plan other than to have fun. That was a great day. Today, I wish I could be doing that instead of being enclosed under fluorescent lights doing accounting. Maybe that’s not discontentment – just a great memory of a really fun time. What’s so wrong with that?

Who I Am Now

So I started a new job last week. I like it, it's a great, professional environment and there are a lot of nice people working here. It's been interesting meeting these new people, because I realized that they're a whole crowd who don't know who I am. I'm a different person than I was even six months ago. Who am I now?

Well....
1. I'm trying to be a woman who isn't focused on the things that don't fulfill. Men. Materialism. Perfectionism. Control. Beauty. Social Status & Popularity.

2. Despite that I'm a woman who talks too much about trivial things and isn't near as deep or meaningful in my conversations as I'd like to be. See above. And I still read the tabloids with a voyeuristic sense of curiousity. I can't help it, I really did want to see Brangelina work things out!

3. And I'm still a clotheshorse, a shoe freak, a make-up junkie and that woman who truly does prefer guys' company over girlfriends most days (with a few exceptions Kari & Katrina). Oh, and I want Katie Holmes' new hairdo, it's soooo right now.

4. I'm a reader. And a sometimes TV on DVD watcher. Depends. But mostly a reader.

4. I'm a lot quieter than most of y'all would think. I am learning what it means to be still, meek and quiet, yes even in voice. Come on, cut me some slack - I'm trying!! You wouldn't believe it, but I've been using my inside voice for over a week now, and someone commented to me today that I have such a lovely, soft voice. HAHAHAHA!!

5. I'm committed to affirming, nurturing and encouraging the people God puts in my life. I'm definitely a pray-er. I can't do much for the people I love, but I can always pray for them & lift them up through the word of God. I guess that hasn't really changed, though I have learned a lot lately about what it means as a woman to Affirm, Nurture & Accept. I'm trying to do those successfully, though that last one is quite the challenge! Thank you Piper/Grudem!

6. I'm less of a coffe snob than I used to be. But in return, I'm a whiskey snob now. Oooooh, how I've developed a taste for the fine stuff! My bourgouise palatte won't even go near Jack now, I'm a Bookers or Makers Mark girl all the way.

7. I'm turning into a freaking hippie! I recycle like everything now, and I ride my bike everywhere, and I'm concerned about all kinds of crazy social causes. Who is this girl? Is she related to the Amnesty International-Social Justice geek I was in high school?

8. I'm a wanna-be mountain biker. If there's anything I want to learn this year or next it's mountain biking. And maybe white-water rafting.

8. I'm a food-tard. I can't eat any of the things I used to love. But I'm happier/healthier for it. Seriously though - I miss wheat. And milk. And speaking of turning into a hippie - I won't even go near the big chain stores anymore. I'm all about the Co-ops! Gimme the Wedge & those amazing gluten free peanut butter cookies & some free range, grass fed beef! Wow. At least I'm not a vegetarian, though I have considered how much cheaper life would be if I was.

9. Some things remain the same though....I'm still a klutz. I still spill EVERYTHING on my shirt. Most of my tee-shirts look like Jackson Pollack had a food fight on my chest. Oh, and I can't walk & talk on the phone without walking into things. Or drive stick & talk on the phone while holding a soda. And I still trip on the hem of my pants coming down the stairs. Yeah, I'm definitely still a klutz.

We're all evolving constantly. Some of us are actually being transformed into something far greater than ourselves. As I change, I want to become a woman who lives gracefully, inspires others and can laugh at herself